Idaho Falls

46 IDAHO FALLS MAGAZINE JANUARY 2020 It's all about the spin BY GREGG LOSINSKI Time is a funny thing. Watch it too closely and it drags on. Forget about it and it zooms by. The trick is to both enjoy it and respect it, without becoming obsessed with it. If you don't, it'll drive you mad. Like waiting for the new civic auditorium to be built or the never-ending Lorenzo Bridge Project. The Earth spins on its axis. One complete rotation marks a day. At the same time, it is also spinning through the cosmos around the Sun. One complete lap around the sun is of course a year. Because the Earth is also tilted, the seasons are created because of the variation in the distance from the Earth to the Sun. Our location of approximately midway between the equator and the North Pole means we get to experience all the seasons the planet has to offer, often all in a single day. So basically, our entire existence is like one endless galactic roundabout that we can never manage to exit. I have been fortunate to be able to travel the globe a bit. Whenever I go somewhere, people ask me where in the United States I come from. Usually the answer "Idaho" results in blank stares, although the occa- sional foreigner who has been exposed to McDonald's will know that Idaho has some- thing to do with potatoes for french fries. Unfortunately, confusing Idaho for Ohio or Iowa is not restricted to those residing in other countries. I've had people in other parts of the United States not be all that sure as to the exact geographic location of the Gem State, let alone our fine town. When trying to help explain the location Idaho Falls, I've learned that Yellowstone National Park is one of those places that most people know about. They may not know the park's exact location but they generally know that it is in the western part of the country, but not as far as the coast. Many people have also seen pictures of the highly photogenic peaks of Grand Teton National Park. So, when I tell them that I can see the backside of the Tetons on a clear day, that helps them dial in things a little closer. In addition to knowing about Old Faithful and its bears, nowadays many people have also heard about the supervolcano under Yellowstone waiting to erupt. They ask me if I'm afraid about living that close to something so powerful and that in geologic term is overdue to erupt. I tell them that if it does occur, we won't even be aware of it happening. Boom and we'll be gone. Instantly vaporized, unlike the slow-motion disasters portrayed in films. It will be the rest of the world that will have to deal with the devastating impact of volcanic ash engulfing the planet and triggering the zombie apocalypse. But in the meantime, Idaho Falls is a swell place to live and raise a family. When come- dian Tom Papa appeared at the Colonial Theater last October, he did his regular routine about how we should all be proud of ourselves for surviving and doing so swell. I know it was part of his shtick, but I really think it fits here. Idaho Falls is the perfect place to enjoy life and not get caught up in the rat race. Just sit back and let the planet keep spinning on and don't worry about that nasty super volcano next door. IF Auld Lang Syne OUT THERE | Auld Lang Syne

• Cover