Idaho Falls

46 IDAHO FALLS MAGAZINE AUGUST 2020 I have spent a good number of years wandering around in the great outdoors. I have seen many impressive natural sights and a plethora of man-made wonders. But of all the wondrous and mystical sights I have observed, perhaps the most perplexing has been the inverse relationship of mass for empty versus full beer cans. Logically, no one should argue that an empty can should weigh less than the same can full of a delicious malted beverage, but based on thousands of fi eld observa- tions this must not be true. If a person has the stamina and wherewithal to carry a full six-pack or even a single can to a lofty mountaintop or a lowly stream bank, then you would think that they would be able to carry it back home. Draining the contents, usually into their bellies, should give them the calories they need to propel them back to civilization. A full 12-ounce can weigh approximately one pound. That means a six-pack weighs around 5 or 6 pounds full. Once empty, we are talking only a few ounces that can be smashed to take up hardly any room, yet so often this seems like just too large a burden to bear for some people. Perhaps all the effort of carrying the full cans in just wipes them out too much to deal with the obliga- tion of hauling their trash back out. Not to pick on folks from 1J, but I have also noticed that the empty cans left behind are rarely from microbreweries or higher- quality beers. Overwhelmingly, the cans you fi nd are of the general all-purpose national lager variety. I can honestly say I've never found an empty porter or stout can, or even the increasingly popular hoppy IPA's. Another interesting thing that I have noticed is that not only are these scoffl aws thrifty, but they are health-conscious too. Along with buying inexpensive beer, they are also concerned about their caloric input and tend to drink light beer. Aluminum cans also seem to be the pre- ferred method of transport for most of these barley-pop consuming litterbugs. You rare- ly fi nd an empty beer bottle left behind and if you do it will be something of the more industrial brew variety. Unfortunately, another reason you rarely fi nd empty beer bottles is because the same folks that have no problem leaving empty beer cans behind are also the same type of person who has no problem smashing bottles against rocks and trees, leaving shards of glass for people, pets, and wildlife to step on. Enjoying a meal or a refreshing beverage in the great outdoors is one of life's simpler pleasures. Sometimes, accessing the per- fect spot for a picnic or to fi sh might mean a little work, but the benefi ts are always worth the effort. If you have the gumption to carry something in full, then be sure to have the fortitude to be able to carry it back out empty. On a recent backpacking trip my son and I were up in the Centennials, along the Continental Divide. We were miles from any real trail, in the middle of a huge boulder fi eld. We stopped to enjoy the incredible vista. While resting, we looked down at our feet and there among the boulders were empty beer cans! These weren't the cool old vintage cans thrown away long before the fi rst Earth Day. These were shiny new ones left by someone who defi nitely should have known better. Out in the wild, there is no one to pick up after you or to call you out for doing something wrong. You need to hold yourself accountable and protect this incredible place we all call home. IF Heavier Empty Than Full BY GREGG LOSINSKI OUT THERE

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