Issue link: http://read.uberflip.com/i/1493887
IF 46 IDAHO FALLS MAGAZINE MARCH 2023 MOMMY BLOGER Learning to Love Teenagers and a Puppy Can I just tell you that every ounce of energy I have goes into loving my teenagers? Can I also tell you that it often feels unreciprocat- ed? Who built this system and who do we fire? When the Mountain America Center opened, I ended up with two tickets to see Big and Rich and a date, which pretty much means I should buy lots of lottery tickets and preemptively retire to an island because, you know. I decided this night called for my rhine- stone blazer because there isn't enough glitter and sparkle in this world to pacify me. You read that right. A blazer. As in a suit jacket for women fully equipped with layers of clothing underneath. When I finally got all ready, I asked my 13-year-old how I looked. Brace yourself. True story coming up. Katie: First ever concert at the Mountain America Center tonight. How are we feeling about my outfit? Cambri: This outfit gives off lady-of- the-night energy. Katie: What?! Are you serious? It's an actual jacket. DO NOT WORRY PEEPS. SHE MAY BE A TEENAGER BUT SHE STILL HAD ENOUGH SELF AWARENESS TO UNDERSTAND THE SHOCKED SO- CIAL CUES I WAS THROWING OFF. Cambri: I mean, I guess it works for your vibe. Katie: So I'm wearing something that feels like me yet looks like a lady of the night. So what are you trying to say? Cambri: Stop putting words into my mouth. Katie: I'm literally repeating what you told me, requesting clarification. Cambri: Then I guess the shoe fits. Katie: And you're officially dead to me. Pack your own lunch tomorrow. Cambri: I know where we keep the Poptarts. And that's my 13-year-old daughter. If I started pulling out stories about how my 16-year-old daughter thinks I dress, we would be here all day and you would be reading the words "Grandma" and "You look old" a lot. Isn't life funny? You pour your entire being into your children and then they grow into humans with opinions of their own. It's almost too much. But I came up with a solution. I bought something that will spend the rest of its life loving me unconditionally. A puppy. I found the sweetest little Doodle in Minnesota and I drove 17 hours straight through to pick her up and then 17 hours home in a blizzard. Was I suffering a mass break from reality when I made the decision to adopt a living thing that would require me for all of its care? Without a doubt. It was all part of my master plan. Now nothing the teenagers do can hurt me because my puppy makes me invinci- ble. Don't like what I cooked for dinner? The puppy does. Don't like what I'm wearing? The puppy doesn't care. Don't like my tone when speaking to you? I don't ever have to talk to the puppy that way so I don't know what to tell you. Need to get up all hours of the night to go potty? Oh, wait, I have to do that all on my own. That's the unfun part. Plus, when my kids leave, I won't even miss them because I will have my puppy who will probably be 90 pounds of joy by then. As it turns out, my puppy does love me unconditionally but it requires a lot of work in the form of puppy care. I also didn't know puppies bite when they are teething and often chew up prized possessions. These are the things you learn when you do no research on actual animal owner- ship. And yet, it's still easier than two teenagers. Yesterday, I was accused of loving my puppy more than my kids and my response was, "Well, if the shoe fits." By Katie Burke Learning to Love Teenagers and a Puppy