Idaho Falls

54 IDAHO FALLS MAGAZINE JUNE 2023 OUT THERE Families form us, good or bad. While there is a whole debate about the idea of nature versus nurture, there is no doubt that the people we call family shape who we become. Whether biologically related to us or not, their presence (or lack thereof ) will affect our behavior our entire lives. Oen, we think of families in strictly biological terms.: Who begat whom and who shares similar DNA. In one sense this is still true, but the definition is expanding almost daily. While not extinct, the concept of the nuclear family is now just one of a variety of options. Today, a family can be just about anything you want it to be. In some ways this openness seems positive, in other ways, it can seem confusing. e lack of a definitive structure and commitment can sometimes lead to confusion, especially for young children and adolescents. When adults are unsure of their roles and responsibilities it can create a pretty scary world for kids who are counting on the adults to act like adults. anks to modern DNA analysis and the wonders of the internet, we now have a better understanding of our biological lineage than ever before. In the past, yarns could be spun to avoid exposing uncomfortable or even illegal relations. Today, the threads of those lies quickly unravel as the undeni- able DNA sequences are compared. I'm sure that apps like 23andMe, Ancestry, and MyHertitage have led to more than a few family trees being pruned significantly and others having entirely new limbs graed on. People in the past weren't especially more wholesome than today. ey were just able to cover their tracks easier. Society wasn't as open to exposing secrets and people were less likely to challenge cultural norms. Your dad was who your mom said he was, even if he was away fighting in a foreign land at the time you would have been conceived. Science was looser then, and things just seemed to happen. Don't ask questions about our family, and we won't ask them about yours! Today, we have DNA testing that is super accurate and getting better with every sample analyzed and poured into the gene pool. Fudging the family tree is no longer possible! While we can zero in on lineages better than ever, We are Family By Gregg Losinski the definition of what constitutes a family is ever-ex- panding! During my lifetime the whole concept of what is a family has changed. Who and what makes up a family is pretty much free flow now. Gender roles and even gender itself are in a state of free fall. With sperm banks, surrogates, and in-vitro fertilization, the use of DNA to map our history becomes murky. Pretty much any collection and combination of human beings can be put together and called a family. We are now becom- ing related more socially than biologically. When I was a kid, whenever the subject of DNA would come up in our biology classes, we knew that we would soon be assigned to create a family tree. With no way to verify the past, we just had to believe what our parents told us. Divorce was still uncommon back then and society still had an extremely limited viewpoint of how a family should be put together. Genealogy charts back then were simple to draw. I pity some kids today when they get to the genet- ics chapter of their biology class. Rather than their charts looking like an oak spreading its limbs, lots of their charts will look like an overgrown shrub. I'm not saying families in the past were necessarily better; there certainly was plenty of dysfunction. We just didn't talk about it. Today, we are more open about our issues, which some people say is a good thing. e most important thing though, no matter what the makeup of the family is, is that the children feel loved and protected. No one grows up without being exposed to some amount of ugliness and fear. e hope is that it doesn't cause permanent harm. Children are resilient, but parents need to be the grown-ups and keep the drama to a minimum. Whether biologically related or not, kids need all they help they can get in today's world. IF

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