Administrative Assistant's Update

JANUARY 2014 Gossip sucks. Not gossiping also sucks. FR OM TH E E D I TOR Joyce Grant Have you ever noticed that people gossip? You tell them something, and you tell them not to tell anyone. But they do. The nerve! This was my epiphany a few years ago. If I tell someone something... I'm already gossiping. It doesn't matter what they do or don't do with the information. I've started the gossip chain—or possibly continued it. That epiphany has stopped me from gossiping on numerous occasions. The only problem is, it can get awkward. For instance, I was speaking with a colleague about a supplier. Administrative Assistant's UPDATE Administrative Assistant's Update is published once a month by Thomson Reuters Canada Ltd. Editorial office vjoycegrant@sympatico.ca S(416) 656-7796 UJoyce Grant, Editor Administrative Assistant's Update Thomson Reuters Canada Ltd. 1 Corporate Plaza, 2075 Kennedy Road Toronto, ON M1T 3V4 Customer Service S(416) 609-3800 (800) 387-5164 TFAX (416) 298-5082 (877) 750-9041 vcarswell.customerrelations@ thomsonreuters.com Contents copyright. All rights reserved. © 2014 Thomson Reuters Canada Ltd. Contents may not be reproduced without written permission. Brief extracts may be made with due acknowledgement. Annual subscription: $189. Publications Mail Registration No. 40065782 GST# 897176350 2 We were having trouble getting product from the supplier and I knew why. The head of the company had a serious illness he was dealing with and that was creating a bottleneck throughout the organization. My friend was complaining about the firm, saying she didn't want to deal with them any more. What would you do? Should I tell my friend what was going on, and that the problem (the illness) wasn't permanent? In that case, I'd likely be helping the supplier hang on to a valuable client. On the other hand, this was personal health information that I didn't feel I had approval to discuss. If I did tell my friend, I felt it would be gossiping. Here's what I did What did I do? I told my friend that I knew why the bottleneck was happening, and that it would be cleared up soon. Pause. I added that I didn't want to say any more. Pause. Crickets. Not a perfect solution There are two problems with what I did. First, it made our conversation suddenly very awkward. I was essentially saying, "I know something you don't and I'm not gonna say." I may as well have added, "Nyah, Nyah." It's tantamount to saying, "I'm privileged with this supplier because they told me something they're not telling you." (Again, "nyah, nyah.") But there was another problem. It made my secret more enticing— bigger than it really was. It sounded like my supplier was embezzling or was a murderer or something. What happened next What happened next was also super-awkward. I explained that I didn't want to say any more because I didn't feel it was my place to say. This had the added awkward bonus of making my friend feel like I thought she wouldn't be capable of keeping her mouth shut if I told her. I also said it was something I'd heard second-hand and I told her that "I have a gossip problem that I'm trying to cure." Which is true, if perhaps a bit over-stated. She said to me, "Well, the only thing I know about this person is that they're ill. That might be creating a bottleneck." Phew! Now I could talk about the situation with my friend because she clearly had all the same information. Plus, my friend told me that she'd heard it from an employee, who'd told "a bunch of people." In other words, the information was common knowledge and not sensitive. Well, now we could discuss it, but the whole situation left me racked with guilt and embarassment. I consoled myself with this thought: What if I'd told my friend about the CEO's illness and she hadn't known? And what if it was a big secret? And what if my friend told someone? In that case, I really would have felt bad. So I guess I did the right thing, I just didn't do it very well. Unfortunately, I'm not sure not gossiping gets better with practice. For more on handling sensitive information, see page 4.

• Cover