Denver Catholic

BY NISSA LAPOINT Allan Cravalho has told his daughter he really did love her, he just didn't know it at the time. He's prayed to his daughter, later named Jennifer, who was conceived with his then girl- friend in Hawaii in the 1980s. The abortion happened so quickly. "One day she says she's pregnant," said Cravalho about his then girlfriend. "She wasn't Catholic but I was, and I should have known better. I allowed it to happen." The St. Mary Church pa- rishioner has found healing and forgiveness through his faith journey and the Rachel's Vineyard weekend retreat in Denver. "I think it's something I'm continuing to work through," said Cravalho, 58. "I had bur- ied this hurt for a lot of years. I do feel there's forgiveness for what happens." Now he's working to reach out to other fathers who've experienced the regret of abortion. So often its impact on fa- thers is forgotten, he said. "The thing for me that al- ways hurts—although my sit- uation was different—is that the male has no rights to that child," he said. Forgotten fathers Federal law does not require fathers to either be informed about or required to consent to an abortion. Pro-abortion advocates frame a decision to abort as a woman's "right" or issue, but men across the country have given testimonies revealing their own sense of loss and failure after an abortion. Jason Baier, founder of Fa- therhood Forever, is quoted about his own experience after abortion. "As I reached out to different people for help, there were few who understood why I was in so much pain. 'Just get over it ... it was only an abortion' they would tell me. But I couldn't. It was more than just an abor- tion. I had lost my child and no one seemed to understand." Fatherhood Forever launched the Silent No More Awareness Campaign, part of which conducts an outreach to men who regret their lost fatherhood. Regardless of the father's role in the abortion decision, their parenthood was cut short. Bradley Mattes, CEO of the Life Issues Institute, has said this lost fatherhood will sur- face in destructive behavior or feelings of defeat, powerless- ness and confusion. Men's instinctual desire to procreate, protect and provide for their family can be dam- aged once lost fatherhood is realized. A survey released in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology revealed some 52 percent of male college stu - dents reported feeling regret following an abortion. The findings suggested that men may "be more inclined to experience pronounced post abortive effects than women, because the decision to abort is ultimately the female's and the final decision opted for may not be congruent with the male's choice." The symptoms The Life Issues Institute re- ports the most evident symp- tom in men from the loss of a INDEX Archbishop's Column ......................2 The Catholic Difference ..................4 Call to Charity ...................................4 Join the Mission ............................. 12 Puzzle Page ......................................13 Nun of the Above quiz ...................13 Bulletin Board ................................. 14 Service Directory ...................... 14-15 A love once forgotten, resurrected PHOTO BY CHIP SOMODEVILLA/GETTY IMAGES A MAN kneels and prays at the fence in front of the Supreme Court during the March for Life Jan. 24, 2011, in Washington, D.C. The annual march marks the anniversary of the landmark Roe v. Wade decision by the court that made abortion legal in the United States. MARCH 26, 2014 114 Years of Service to the Gospel Volume XC - No. 12 www.DenverCatholicRegister.org I Follow us on INSIDE OBITUARY CATHOLIC LIFE PAGE 8 'God brings us to him in different ways' PHOTO PROVIDED St. Cajetan's pastor was a father figure CATHOLIC SCHOOLS PAGE 10 School to teach the 3R's via virtues of truth, goodness and beauty PAGE 9 See Love, Page 5 Angels alley-oop PAGE 10

• Cover