The quarterly publication of the International Legal Technology Association
Issue link: http://read.uberflip.com/i/34686
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF MAXIMUM GUY, ESQ.: 2191 Tuesday, March 17, 2191 (a.k.a. Cocoa Puffs Day, Honda Month or Diurnal Unit 17, 2191 in the corporate calendar) was a good day for Maximum Guy. Many things went wrong, but one important thing went right. E 46 arlier that day Max went in for a surrogate physical workout. The first hitch came when his consciousness was accidentally transferred to another guest, a middle-aged pear-shaped woman who wanted to vacate her body while her bunions were removed. Meanwhile, this same woman landed in the body of Max’s trainer, and having realized the advantage of the error, immediately left the premises to make the most of it. Fortunately, she unexpectedly found herself in a socially awkward situation when she attempted to eat some vegetables, not realizing that the body of the trainer whom she was inhabiting was a protarian (he only ate processed foods, principally banana-flavored protein gel with a chaser of tang). The trainer’s body rejected the vegetables, the situation became disagreeable and she was returned to the Corporeal Exchange Facility after about four hours. At the same time, Max’s trainer occupied Max’s body (so he wouldn’t have to work out himself) and accidentally ran 42 miles instead of 12 miles, the reason being that the trainer wasn’t too bright and remained oblivious to the fact that the mileage progress gauge repeatedly fell back to 50 percent. Max always blamed these snafus on the fact that the facility was still using archaic software from an obsolete company called Microsoft. When Max was reintroduced to his body his first impression was that he had suffered a crash or burn injury to his legs. It took him a moment to realize that his body had only been worked well beyond the limits of endurance by his over-exuberant trainer. It was Pepsi o’clock (3:00 p.m. in old- speak) when he finally walked out the door, if one could call his crab-like shuffling “walking.” www.iltanet.org Peer to Peer