Untacked

50 ja n ua r y/ f e b r ua r y 2 015 U n tac k e d coVEr storY happen over night, and it definitely doesn't happen seamlessly. some of us spend decades grappling with realities we never expected and comparing ourselves to our peers, and that inner turmoil can be exhausting. many riders are naturally driven, competitive people, so warm and fuzzy concepts like "seeking contentment" and "finding your zen" may sound cringe-worthy. But embracing a more positive outlook is a vital step in creating a healthier, more balanced lifestyle. And it's not as hard as you might think. What Contentment Isn't first, let's dispel some negative connotations. "Contentment is a really charged word," says tonya Johnston, mA, an author and mental skills coach who works with riders across the country. "i think a lot of people would equate it with being com- placent and not being driven and not getting the best out of themselves. "i think that's cultural, partially, and it's some- thing to be aware of," she continues, "because feeling like, 'i want more, and i want to do more, and i want to be more,' is a big motivation for some folks. it's a double-edged sword, for sure." But to some others, "contentment" conjures up connotations of affected, constant cheerfulness. Yet "happy all the time" is neither A) the real definition of contentment nor B) even humanly possible. "happiness is as a butterfly," nathaniel haw- thorne once wrote, "which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down qui- etly, may alight upon you." in other words, happiness is a fleeting emotion that happens to you. But content- ment is an action you choose and create yourself. And this is great news for all the strivers and the fighters out there—because finding contentment isn't about giving up or giving in. it's actually a skill you can practice. "it's a little bit about taking stock as you go along and being self-aware," says Johnston. "And that really has to do with tracking your own progress. if you're not disciplined about looking for those moments of joy, the moments of success, and sort of calling them out to yourself and recognizing them, it's easy to get caught in a comparison trap." Keeping Up With The Joneses once jealousy or a sense of inadequacy sets in, it's a hard cycle to break free from, especially if you're feel- ing both simultaneously. to do so, Johnston recom- mends preempting those feelings by refocusing your energy in a different direction. "i don't want to say this, because it's a negative way of looking at it," she admits, "but it's a little bit lazy to use comparison as a yardstick. Because what you want to do is be more proactive. what are you feel- ing good about? what are the moments where you're experiencing those feelings of success, and how did you contribute to making that happen? "take that same energy that you would use for comparison and put that instead into tracking your own development as a rider and really sort of honoring those times that are successful, that are fun, that are exciting," she adds. And that mindset can be even more valuable when applied to your personal life. say it's raining on a sat- urday, and your kids want to play monopoly all day. "oK!" Johnston says. "i'm not going to call myself a wimp for not going to the barn. i'm going to say, 'hey, an opportunity presented itself for me to do something else that i love, and i'm glad i did it.' "it's about being aware," she continues. "what makes you light up? e more you learn to recognize those things, the more you'll gravitate toward them. You just have to [stay in touch with] how they change over time." Serenity now it's tempting to think of a transitional phase as an identity crisis, and it may even feel like that from time to time. But contentment doesn't require giving up on your goals or changing your personality. in fact, a satisfied, well-balanced person can still be extremely competitive. Case in point: olympic eventer Julie richards. in the late '90s and early 2000s, richards was your typical top-level athlete, laser-focused on her small string of horses and elite competition. she rep- resented the united states at the 2000 sydney games and won team bronze at the Athens olympics four years later.

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