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7 47 Issue 70 / 2014 FILM guestlist.net INDEPENDENT CINEMA OF THE MONTH: ARTHOUSE CROUCH END TOP 5 CHRISTMAS VILLAINS Paul Verhoeven's 1997 romp is brilliantly brainless, yet therein lies its brains. Everybody loves Christmas. What's not to love? Being with the people you hate love, pretending to enjoy crappy presents – ok maybe there are things to hate. But that's no excuse to go and ruin the Christmas Spirit. Somebody should tell these aggressive numpties.. The bastards keep trying to ruin the holidays for the rest of us. Here's a list of 10 of the worst offenders. 1.Home Alone/ Home Alone 2- The Wet Bandits As if terrorising 90s child, Macaulay Culkin wasn't despicable enough, Harry (Joe Pesci) and Marv (Daniel Stern) have gone and tried to do it twice! They even tried to kill him in Central Park in the second one. Bastards! 2.Die Hard – Hans Gruber. His worst crime is obviously ruining an office Christ- mas party by taking them hostage and shooting poor coked up Harry Ellis. But we suppose trying to steal $640 million is also pretty bad. 3.Batman Returns – Penguin He stole all of Gotham's first-born sons! Need we say more? We do? Damn, you people are heartless. He has a penguin army. A PENGUIN ARMY. AN ARMY. OF. PENGUINS. Who then give him a traditional Emperor Penguin burial! 4.Enemy Of The State – The goddamn NSA! A spy agency being shady? Nooo. Surely not! Spying and killing civilians? During the Christmas period? Heaven's forbid! Every month Guestlist will go and check out a cool independent cinema to show people there is more to the cinematic experience than an Odeon! With Odeon and Vue cinemas being the Starbucks equivalent of the cinematic world and popping up on every corner you would be forgiven for accepting them as your only option. The perfunctory routine of walking in, buying a ticket, and going straight to the screen is all we've come to expect from a cinema. Eating the same suspicious looking hot dog, gulping down the same watered down fizzy drinks. It's all we know. Well that all changes with ArtHouse cinema. Located in North London's Crouch End in a former Salvation Army building, ArtHouse feels like cinema's – well, salvation. When you walk into a major cinema it feels like you could be in any one of its locations across the land – there is nothing personalised about them. ArtHouse is by definition unique. It has the feel of a cosy bar ran by film buffs which just happens to have a cinema at the back. There are no cholesterol busting burritos or Big Ben sized slushees. Instead there are artisan looking sandwiches, a good selection of gin and ice cream that isn't Ben & Jerry's. Trailers for upcoming films are projected onto a sidewall whilst soft jazz music plays in the background. Watching a film in of the cinema's 2 auditoria feels more like an intimate screening. The seats are red and plush with a few pillows available for extra comfort and are deceptively spacious. There is none of that Premium seating nonsense; all seats are equally comfortable. ArtHouse also prides itself on exposing its audiences to films they wouldn't see in other cinemas. This month it screened several films that were part of the Nordic Film Festival But it's not all about films. ArtHouse also hosts comedy nights, has a 90 seat theatre and hosts weekly film quizzes. It is also broadcasting alternative content such as 'A Woman's Work', which discusses women's role in cinema. For too long cinematic venues made people feel like they weren't welcome for a second longer than the duration of the film. Arrive early and be prepared to stand around awkwardly, pretending to be on your phone even though there is no reception. ArtHouse on the other hand wants you to arrive early, have a drink and relax because they understand that that's how the cinematic experience should really be. So if you ever find yourself wanting something more from your film experience, get on down to ArtHouse. It's a breath of fresh air! 5.On Her Majesty's Secret Servic – Ernst Blofeld/ SPECTRE Not sure where to begin. Oh yes, he tries to hold the world hostage with the threat of biological warfare and an army of brainwashed women, including Joanna Lumley. BRAINWASHED WOMEN. He hypnotised the ladies under the guise of studying allergies. Oh and there is also the small matter of Blofeld killing Bond's wife, just moments after they married. Bastard.