Denver Catholic

15 DENVER CATHOLIC | MAY 23-29, 2015 Graces of confi rmation I was struck by the statement (Archbishop to discuss change in confi rmation, May 9-15) that "…the sacrament of confi rmation tends to mark the end … of a close relationship with Christ." I have had two children confi rmed in recent years and served as a sponsor for another, and my observation is that if confi rmation marks the end of a relationship with Christ, it is less a cause than an eƒ ect. The cause is more likely the lack of authentic high school youth programs in many of our parishes. These recently confi rmed 8th- and 9th-graders are at the age when they are beginning high school, a time when they are entering a new and challenging social environment, bringing with it challenges to their Catholic beliefs. Confi r- mation is certainly not the cause of high-school- ers lessening their relationship with Christ. If anything, confi rmation provides them the grace and strength to handle the challenges encoun- tered in high school, particularly in our public high schools. It seems to me the lack of high school youth groups for Catholic youth is much more likely to result in a less close relationship. A few weeks ago it was reported that only half of our parishes have high school programs. Our parish is one of those. Students complete a vibrant sacramental preparation program and receive the sacrament of confi rmation which, sadly, marks the end of opportunities for further faith formation. As we revise the order of the sacraments of initiation, let's also strive to oƒ er all of our Catholic high school children an opportunity to continue learning about their faith. Those four years of high school are a period of intense academic learning and growth in social relationships. Our Catholic high school children should also have a similar opportunity to learn about their faith and deepen their rela- tionship with Christ. Let's renew the commitment to engage our high school children rather than let them drift away. JOSEPH PRINSTER Boulder LETTERS T his is a common scenario we see in our marriage coaching: the hus- band travels each week for his job while the wife is responsible for working her part-time job and being the taxi shuttle for their children all week alone, making that extra eƒ ort to organize the schedule for the week. The wife with the "extra duties" may start feeling resentful for the extra-busy week while her hus- band gets to enjoy a week out of town. Let's focus on how much eƒ ort the husband makes in providing for his family. He realizes it is di³ cult for his wife while he is gone but also wants to get ahead in his company. He could strictly focus on his job for the week, but instead makes an eƒ ort to have a date night planned when he gets back. He calls to pray with his wife at the end of each evening and took some time to leave little notes around the house for her before he left on the business trip. The wife could quickly become self-absorbed, only taking a look at all she has to accomplish the week her husband is away. Imagine if she were to focus completely on her husband with periodic text messages and phone calls at night to thank him for working so hard for their family, to ask him how his week is going and if there is anything he needs while he is away. If her week is spent complaining to him, telling him how exhausted she is due to the extra work, he may not look as forward to walking in Friday evening when he arrives back in town. On the other hand, if he has received numerous (daily) positive, encouraging, loving and supportive communication all week, he is longing to be home with his wife and kids. And if he has made that extra eƒ ort "to be" with his wife while he was out of town, she will fi nd her week wasn't too bad after all. If our marriages are to be a sign to the world of God's eternal exchange of life and love, and there is an enemy who wants to bring division and wants nothing more than to see our children ripped apart from their parents, then where is the enemy going to attack? He is going to attack our families. We need to know who we are fi ghting. With wounded hearts, disappointments, lack of charity in our words, rolling of our eyes and the silent treatment, we begin to see our spouse as our enemy. Prayer is the answer to fi ghting the battle in our homes, the battle in our marriages, and the battle in our fami- lies! We need to keep in mind that it is not our spouse that is the enemy, the one we should be fi ghting against. We should be armed and prepared to battle the enemy who wants to destroy. Let's commit to carving out time each and every day—15 minutes to 30 minutes, alone—in silence with God to converse with him about our lives, about our spouse, about our families. Beg for His grace and mercy to love as He loves. When was the last time you asked yourself, and were honest with yourself, about how often you truly pray for your spouse? But not prayers like "Please, God, change my husband," or "Lord, make my wife see her shortcomings." Rather prayer lifting up your spouse such as, "Heavenly Father, I ask for you to bless my spouse today and help me to be a courageous witness of your love. Help me to be a servant spouse and to focus on my spouse's gifts. I want to serve as you serve, Lord." Being together when you're apart Matt and Mindy Dalton can be reached at matt@marriagemissionaries.org, 303-578-8287 or at www.marriagemissionaries.org. Marriage Missionaries MATT & MINDY DALTON PHOTO BY WAVEBREAKMEDIAMICRO/DPC CORRECTION In the May 16-22 issue of the Denver Catholic, an incor- rect advertisement congratulating Regis Jesuit High School graduates was printed on Page 15. The Denver Catholic will print the correct list of 2015 graduates in the June 13-19 issue, which is also posted online. Prayer is the answer to fi ghting the battle in our homes, the battle in our marriag- es, and the battle in our families!" MATT & MINDY DALTON " Denver Catholic Summer Schedule Denver Catholic will publish on the 2nd and 4th Saturdays of the month during the summer. Look for the next issue June 13-19. Visit www.denvercatholic.org and follow us on Facebook and Twitter for your local Catholic news and commentary. Thank you for your readership and support.

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