Denver Catholic

19 DENVER CATHOLIC | SEPTEMBER 26-OCTOBER 9, 2015 W e agonize, we hunger and we thirst for every couple that comes to us for marriage coaching.¯ Spouses call with trepida- tion, send emails crying out for help, share that their spouse may not come.¯ Pursued by the Holy Spirit, the "hound from heaven," they end up walking through the doors of our simple o° ce, sitting at our table and sharing their lives.¯ Their stories are similar although their journeys can vary.¯ They come wounded, broken and tired; there seems to be a universal thread with this commentary, Jesus is not the central part of their unions. Oh, how we know this scenario, as we too were busy, in the fi rst fi ve years of our marriage, being distracted by the things of this world.¯ It was our careers, spending hours on planning and then remodeling our house to meet our desires.¯ If we weren't still playing sports, we were either immersed in our kids' athletic success or imprisoned to our favorite sports teams.¯ Sadly, look- ing back on our early years in marriage, if we really think about it, our married relationship was based on selfi shness.¯ Once the "honeymoon" was over or the sentimentality of "falling in love" dulled, we didn't experience joy.¯ We had fun, individually, at the expense of our marital and familial joy.¯ Fun is momen- tary, joy points to the eternal. Experiencing joy in our marriage occurred when I decided to give God some of my time.¯ I remember hearing a layman talk at the end of Mass about the fruits in his life of visiting our Lord Jesus regularly in the adoration chapel. ¯One thing rang in my ears. He said, "If you have the courage to sign up to be a regu- lar adorer and pray in the chapel, pick a sacrifi cial time."¯ That comment blazed a hole right in the center of my heart and I knew my time: 2 p.m. on Sundays.¯ That is when the Broncos game comes on.¯ Secondly, it had been several years since I had gone away from the sacrament of reconciliation.¯ Upon my reluctant return to confession, I became aware that God longed for me. 19 years ago, for the fi rst time in my life, I experienced intimacy with Jesus.¯ In all of my brokenness and sin and its ugliness, the Divine Healer – Jesus - touched my heart.¯ I understood, in a profound way, why Holy Mother Church calls this the sacrament of healing. From the Catechism of the Catholic Church, (CCC 1456), "for if the sick person is too ashamed to show his wound to the doctor, the medicine cannot heal what it does not know." ¯When I heard the words of absolution through the priest, "I absolve you from all your sins," I knew that it was Jesus, through our Holy Mother, who was making me new again. As my love for Jesus and Our Lady continues to grow, so does my burning desire to share this with my bride, Mindy, as we now approach 25 years married. Allowing the stories of sacred scripture to come alive in our own lives, we get the answers to why Jesus is in such agony in the garden and why He thirsts from His venerable cross.¯ It is for each one of us. ¯In our marriage coaching, we are like physician assistants, helping other mar- ried couples open their hearts to God.¯ The fruit of inviting God into every part of our lives is gaining the eyes to see that our spouse is not our foe.¯ With grace, we stop fi ghting for our own rights, align with our helpmate and drink from the only source that will bring everlasting joy: Jesus Christ, the bridegroom of our souls, the Divine Physician. Matt and Mindy Dalton can be reached at matt@marriagemissionaries.org, 303-578-8287 or at www.marriagemissionaries.org. Marriage Missionaries MATT & MINDY DALTON Guiding Married Couples to the Divine Physician Holy and utterly the Paul and source of Har- denial of the harmless with it is no belong to what we have transcendent simply arti- Accordingly, too ought to them. We the the issue God's at Har- for atheism, threat. wrestle de-humanized we Pilgrimage to Chimayo M ost of us think of a pilgrimage as a long journey to a faraway place in a very old country, but that doesn't have to be the case. While the Camino Real Pilgrimage to the San- tuario de Chimayo, outside of Santa Fe, New Mexico, may not be as long in length or in history as the Camino de Santi- ago, Lourdes or The Holy Land, it has the distinct advantage of lying just 350 miles to the south of us. The Santuario of Chimayo is a tiny shrine built on a site associated with a miracle, but what draws the pilgrims is "el pocito," the small pit of Holy Dirt that the faithful believe has curative powers. Other pilgrims approach the shrine to give thanks for deliverance from su¤ ering. Before leaving Denver my wife had the wonderful idea to ask friends and family if they had any prayers and intentions they would like for us to carry to Chimayo. We were both very pleasantly surprised by the number of requests and a little daunted by the task of remembering them all. Once you get under way, the road to Santa Fe is an easy one (head south on I-25, and keep driving until you get there). While on the drive we called my aunt in Pueblo to set up lunch with her on our way back. When I explained where we were headed she told me a family story that I hadn't heard before. While I had known that when she was a child she had contracted polio, I didn't know that 75 years ago my grandparents had taken their 1-year-old daughter who was stricken with the most frightening dis- ease of the early 20th century to the small adobe church to rub her with the healing sands found there. She was later cured. The road moved more quickly under my tires after the phone call and it wasn't long before Colorful Colorado turned into The Land of Enchantment. We had decided to begin our journey on foot from Nambe, New Mexico, about 8 miles from the Santuario. Many people start in Santa Fe and journey 26 miles. It seems to me of greater importance is the consciousness of purpose, rather than simply the amount of the distance. As we began our walk, my wife and I recited a Hail Mary for each of the intentions our friends had sent to carry with us. New Mexico's serene landscape lends itself well to this focus. The terrain around the highway to Chimayo is a vast expanse of arid beauty with mountains bordering the horizon. Interspersed along the road were people o¤ ering water and food out of the backs of their trucks or o¤ folding tables. The port-a-potties seemed to appear at very welcomed moments as well. After completing our prayers for those dear to us we moved on to reciting them for our own intentions. On our fi nal mile of descent into the valley of Chimayo we completed the better part of a rosary, but we fell into silence as we came within sight of the small adobe church. Small and unassuming from the out- side, the Santuario seemed even tinier and more intimate upon entering, even with the wooden altar towering above our heads. I was thankful to have peaceful quiet time for prayer with my wife in the San- tuario, sharing it with just a few others that day. There seems to be a fair amount of talk these days about a defi ciency in the interior life. That in our society today we are so wrapped up in our smartphones, television and other methods entertaining ourselves, we get distracted and neglect to take time for quiet contemplation and prayer. This is just a theory, but part of the reason could be a latent function of the Information Age. Constant connectiv- ity has brought us the ability to access answers to questions at any moment and be o¤ on a search for the next answer in seconds. This doesn't force us to contemplate the question, the steps in the process of reasoning or the valid- ity of the solution. A pilgrimage, an external journey with an internal destination, is a way to set aside time to focus and enrich our interior life. It is a way to feed the soul. And if you are in New Mexico, red and green chilies are a great way to feed the body. Daniel Barela is a husband, soon-to-be dad, native Coloradan and a newly minted Catholic. He's discovering everyday what the whole Catholic thing is about. Freshman Catholic DANIEL BARELA i PILGRIMAGE TO CHIMAYO Holy Ghost Parish, 1900 California Street, Denver, will take a pilgrimage to San Luis, Taos, Chimayo & Santa Fe October 29th-31st For more details, contact Holy Ghost Parish The sanctuary of Chimayo. PHOTO BY FLICKR/MICHELE

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