Denver Catholic

19 DENVER CATHOLIC | FEBRUARY 13-26, 2016 Never too Early or too Late for Marriage Preparation W hen my wife and I hastily announced our pending nup- tials after dating for less than two months, just about everyone thought we'd lost our minds. My mother's fi rst ques- tion to my new fi ancée (who she'd only met one other time) was, "Are you Catholic?" "No," my wife answered. "Well, are you gonna be?" My mother immediately wanted to know. Before the evening was over, we'd promised my parents that not only would we immediately start working with a parish priest, but that we'd agree to attend a marriage preparation pro- gram in the Catholic Church. Over twenty years and fi ve children later, my mother would tell you that her former non-Catholic daughter-in-law is now a better Catholic than her own baby boy. In part because of the mistakes we stumbled through in our fi rst years of marriage, including not understanding — and therefore not fully benefi tting from — the Catholic Church's gorgeous teachings on sexuality between married couples, we have sought to help our own children prepare for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony as early as possible. ¢ "If God isn't calling you to the priest- hood or religious life," we've told them time and again, "then somewhere in this world, your future spouse is most likely already walking around, experiencing things you're experiencing, and wonder- ing who she will marry some day." We regularly encourage our sons to pray for their future wives, to pray for their sanctity and purity, to pray for everything they may need now and in the future. ¢And though our daughter is only seven years old, we have slowly begun to introduce the same idea to her. This is just one form of marriage prepa- ration, and it starts at the very earliest of ages. ¢Through witnessing their own parents' solid and holy marriages — marriages bound and sanctifi ed in the Catholic Church through chastity and loving sacrifi ce — the future of our world and our Church is formed in our children. ¢ Marriage preparation is so much more than just attending a solid program (which I can testify fi rsthand as truly being life-changing), or going through all of the motions of completing a to-do list in the months leading up to the actual wedding Mass and celebration. ¢ Marriage preparation is preparing for an amazing life-giving gift from God of one adventure after another, of endless challenges and blessings, of struggles and successes, that bless committed married couples for all the days and years God gives us to share with a spouse in this life. ¢ The Catechism reminds us that, "God who created man out of love also calls him to love" (CCC 1604). ¢ A solid preparation for the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony truly empowers couples to start living out that love called to by God. ¢ During engagement, couples learn the theology and sacramentality of marriage that prepares them for a new life as the two become one. ¢When fi rst getting pregnant, couples then prepare for the next phase of marriage which i nvolves raising children. ¢As children get older, couples anticipate becom- ing mothers and fathers-in-law, then grandparents, and eventually hold each other's hands through further sickness and health with each stage of marriage being preparation for the next. Greg Willits is the Executive Director of the Archdiocese of Denver O¸ ce of Evangelization and Family Life Ministries. ©He and his wife are the co-authors of "The Catholics Next Door: Adventures in Imperfect Living" (Servant 2012) and co-hosts of the weekly "Adventures in Imperfect Living" podcast. Guest Column GREG WILLITS Witnessing Jesus Christ in the midst of tragedy I t seems commonplace today to hear, "If there is truly a God, why would He let this tragedy, war or disaster happen?" We feelso deeply blessed to have had an experience, and fruitful encounters, at the FOCUS Student Leadership Summit at the beginning of January in Dallas. God wasted no time, and our fi rst encounter happened within an hour of our arrival. We had sat down at the café, after having just checked into the hotel. Sitting at the table next to us was a handsome, joy-fi lled man, with his best friend Rue, his companion dog, and a stunning woman.¢ A simple, "Hello," and "Happy New Year" was the beginning of a brush with joy. He shared that while in the Special Forces with the United States Air Force, serving our country in South America, the vehicle he was riding in was shot at, veered o– the road, rolled down an embankment, threw him out, rolled over him and crushed his body. Not only did this leave his back severely broken and his spinal cord sev- ered, he later contracted an infection causing him to lose his lower leg. Even though confi ned to a wheelchair, it has not stopped this man from rolling with God's plan for his life. After the accident, he spent seven gru- eling years enduring numerous surgeries, living with excruciating pain, attending thousands of rehab appointments, su– er- ing a divorce from his wife and ultimately being left on his own to raise their three young boys. He told the story with a spark of joy and hope that echoed the words, "Thank God you're alive." Jason's simple and pure way told us he was an evangelizer – bringing the Good News. Never was there a tone of "Why me?" Without even saying it, his ethos, his interior gaze, illuminated that God was using his tragedy to bring people to Jesus. He now spends his time travel- ling and sharing his story with others, giving them hope and inspiration. Then God orchestrated the highlight of our trip with a striking young couple, married only 8 weeks, visiting from Ire- land. Oh, was the wind of the Holy Spirit blowing. They were on fi re for Jesus, and longed to return to their homeland, where morality is low and the Catholic faith is dying, and share what they had learned and experienced at this con- ference, in hopes to be the tinder that starts a spark that might reignite a love for Jesus in Ireland. We knew they were the spark. The husband told us a story of how his sister who, at the young age of 28, was murdered while on her honeymoon.¢ Apparently, she was in the hotel room alone at one point, and a man broke in to rob them. Michaela was her name. Michaela was a woman with tremendous faith and trust in our Lord.¢ Her example of living for Jesus fi rst is what gave her brother peace with what had happened. He said, "I never felt hatred toward the man who killed my sister.¢ In fact, I forgave him years ago."¢ The joy and comfort this young mar- ried couple now has – speaking of how they pray to Michaela to intercede on their behalf – was an inspiration to us. The love for our Creator beamed from our new friends who hail from Ireland. Oh Heavenly Father, help us with our short-sightedness. Knowing that our sins would tragically strip, scourge, crown with thorns and nail your only begotten Son, Jesus, to a tree and kill him, you sent him anyway. Thank you, Jesus, for allowing us to encounter you in the face of others. Matt and Mindy Dalton can be reached at matt@marriagemissionaries.org, 303-578-8287 or at www.marriagemissionaries.org. Marriage Missionaries MATT & MINDY DALTON FILE PHOTO

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