Denver Catholic

19 DENVER CATHOLIC | AUGUST 27-SEPTEMBER 9, 2016 initiation in parishes. She wanted to get to the root of Christianity. In many cases, this led her back to the Jewish people. For this reason, she spent two years in Israel, with the Scripture in her hand and in profound prayer. With this backdrop, she returned to Madrid. It was the sixties and the spirit for evangelization burned within her. She studied theology and intensifi ed her religious promise, but decided to remain in the lay state. In order to support herself fi nancially, she worked in a factory. It was during these same years that Carmen met Kiko Argüello in the Palomeras Altas neighborhood of Madrid. He was young, of a good family, was a painter, and had turned from a good career and wanted to have an experience of Christ among the poor, since it is there that Christ lives. Carmen, who also was looking for a more authentic experience of Christian life, went to live in a house close to Kiko's in Palomeras Altas, an immigrant neighborhood on the out- skirts of Madrid. It was here where she became captivated living among the poor, Gypsies, former prostitutes, and the handicapped. It was here that a Chris- tian community was forming that was so radical, so simple, so sincere, and so poor, and in time, it evangelized. Through dialogue with the poor, little by little, a new theological-catechetical synthesis was born with the capacity to transform lives. One could see in the midst of these people, destroyed by their past, by their sins, by their adver- sities, that communion, forgiveness, and love was bringing them to conver- sion and inviting them to return to the Father and to the Church. In her catechesis Carmen was simple and profound. She had a great love of the Pope, the deposit of faith that rea rms the Church, and espe- cially a great love of Jesus Christ. Thanks to a collective catechesis, a new ecclesial reality has emerged called The Neocatechumenal Way, which is present in Colorado with numerous communities in various. St. John Paul II said that in speaking of a true fruit of the renewal of The Second Vatican Council, it is vali- dated by the societies and times of today.´ In 2015, The Catholic University of America confi rmed an honorary doctorate in theology to Carmen. The distinction highlights her "fun- damental contribution to the forma- tion of the theological-catechetical synthesis of The Way; without her existential and profound knowledge of Scripture, of the renewal of The Second Vatican Council and of the history of The Church, it would not have been possible to create this itin- erary of Christian initiation." ´ One of the spiritual principles Carmen leaves is the love of the Easter Vigil. Also, she leaves her defense of the role of women in the Church and society. Today, there are more than 4,000 young people from The Way that have entered cloistered monasteries, inspired by the words of Carmen. "Carmen, what a huge help for The Way," said Kiko Argüello, speaking of her death. "What a strong woman! I've never known anyone like her." Translated by Josh Florence Talking to kids about porn and human sexuality A growing concern today involves the role of pornogra- phy as the next generation's instructor in human sexuality. For many young people, pornography has become the only guide to sexuality they have ever known. For Catho- lic parents, this raises the critical challenge of how best to approach these matters with their children, given that kids as young as 8 or 9 may already be acquiring information and viewpoints about human sexual behaviors from internet pornography. I would like to present six practical suggestions for parents, culled from parental testimonies and insights, from other experts in the fi eld, and from ex-users of pornography. First, steer away from "The Talk" towards a more integrated approach. Having "The Talk" relies on the mis- guided notion that parents have edu- cational content or factual knowledge that they are duty-bound to try to deposit into their children's brains. This approach is not only awkward and paternalistic, but can convey a sense that sexual education is a one-time, get-it-over-with ordeal. Kids require ongoing guidance and support from their parents — an expressed willingness to enter into these important discussions that stress the beauty of sexuality in mar- riage and what it is really for, rather than just telling them what not to do or scaring them away from sexually transmitted diseases. Second, be attentive to opportune moments to share wisdom and stories. Because we live in a highly pornifi ed culture, opportunities for parents to share and discuss important value assessments regarding human sexu- ality with their children arise often. Driving by a billboard with a risqué picture or seeing something on TV might, for example, serve as an oppor- tunity to note how it's against the love of women to use them as sex objects. Passing through a part of town where prostitutes are plying their trade might spark a discussion about how many women involved in prostitution are victims of human tra cking and the vast majority wish they could break free of it, etc. Third, avoid internet access in the bedroom. Sometimes parents will say, "The kids have access at school and everywhere else, so I let them have unrestricted access at home — they've got to learn how to handle it anyway." But the home setting needs to diŒ er from the outside world, serving as an oasis and a protected environment for children. If someone oŒ ered to install a pipe into your child's bedroom that could be turned on to pump in raw sewage, you would not agree to it. Yet many parents fail to restrict what is entering their children's bedrooms through the internet and TV. Fourth, be wary of internet access on cell phones. "Due diligence" with cell phones for children might mean looking for handsets that function strictly as phones without internet access, or maybe the kids should be given a phone only at those times when they are dropped oŒ at events like piano practice, soccer, etc. As children grow older and show signs of maturing, restrictions and limitations can be scaled back. Fifth, monitor internet usage. Check browser history, and make use of monitoring software, even though a particular child may be an angel. Keep the family computer in a shared space like the living room with the screen visible so family members can be aware of each other's online activities. Laptops and tablets can pose an inad- vertent temptation in this respect as teens sit cuddled up on the couch with screens not visible to others. In family life, we are called to serve as our brother's keeper. Set limits on "screen time" for children, and maintain password/access control over devices. Have the neighbor's kids deposit their electronic devices on the kitchen table during visits to diminish the tempta- tion to slip away to a private part of the house and surf the net, perhaps with younger siblings in tow. Such practices may also serve to indirectly evangelize other families in the neigh- borhood regarding the serious threats from internet porn. Sixth, set appropriate rules regard- ing relationships, and be involved in the kids' dating practices. Too often parents are tempted to take a "hands- oŒ " approach to this area of their children's lives. When I was growing up, we knew (and eventually appreci- ated) my father's rule that we couldn't date until we were 18. Setting appro- priate rules for kids serves as a sign of a parent's love and concern for them. Whenever parents determine that dating should begin, it oŒ ers further opportunities and occasions to dis- cuss problems and scenarios that can help teens set moral boundaries. Talking to kids and helping them to become good stewards of the gift of human sexuality bestowed by God is hard work. In a culture that forcefully communicates a pornifi ed count- er-gospel, though, it is certainly one of the most important and enduring gifts a parent can seek to provide for the happiness and well-being of their children. Making Sense of Bioethics Father Tadeusz Pacholczyk, Ph.D., serves as director of education at the National Catholic Bioethics Center in Philadelphia, www.ncbcenter.org. FATHER TADEUSZ PACHOLCZYK, PH.D.

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