Denver Catholic

19 DENVER CATHOLIC | SEPTEMBER 10-23, 2016 Love is not rude, even at volleyball games S everal years ago on a long, gru- eling weekend, it seemed like every one of our children had a di© erent place to be; our older two girls were playing in a volleyball tour- nament, our older son was working and the four younger kids weren't old enough to watch themselves. Franti- cally calling friends and family to help watch the kids, as we were preparing to give a weekend Marriage Work- shop, by some help from above, we got all of the logistics covered. By late Saturday afternoon we were exhausted; however, our day wasn't over because we wanted to catch some of the volleyball. We arrived just in time. The gym was packed. Desiring to sit and watch required bringing your own chair – we didn't have ours. Par- ents of another girl whose match just ended got out of their chairs. I nudged another dad and said, "Hey, two chairs! Let's go sit down." I put their ball on the ground, placed their jacket on top of the ball and reclined courtside. Settling in, out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of the woman, whose chair I now occupied, quickly approaching. Acknowledging her, she said, "Why did you throw my things on the fl oor and those are our chairs?" My reaction was less than Christ like… I glared at her, stood up, left my poor friend alone, stomped o© to the other side of the gym, all the while giving them the stink-eye, if looks could kill… As the volleyball match concluded it began to sink in, "Wow—some Chris- tian you are? A workshop about God, his love, mercy and forgiveness and I show up to a sporting event and act like this? Good gracious…" If we didn't frequent the sacra- ment of reconciliation and drink in God's mercy, share that same mercy within our marriage and family life, there is no way that I would have had the grace to see my error, let alone muster up seeking forgiveness after acting like a jerk to my neighbor. At early Sunday Mass, my heart was toiling; thoughts of embarrassment, to blaming, and back to feeling shamed at my reaction. In anticipation of heading back to the volleyball venue, I thought, "What am I going to do if I see them? Look down at the ground and ignore them?" I o© ered my Mass with this thought, "Lord Jesus, you know that we desire to help build a culture of life and love and yesterday I failed misera- bly. If you put those people in my path, I will seek forgiveness." There was a large crowd of families gathered just inside the gym sipping on their morning co© ees and discuss- ing the day's competition. The fi rst person I see is the friend who came to sit in those seats with me the day before. Tapping his shoulder, I asked, "Will you forgive me for the way I acted yesterday?" He replied, "What? You didn't throw their things on the fl oor." He was trying to make excuses for me. I said, "No, I was ill-behaved in my reaction - will you forgive me?" With a huge smile on his face came a big bear hug. In our embrace, over my friend's shoulder; the crowd parted like the Red Sea and there they were. "Honestly Lord, so quickly?" Immediately, it was as if the Holy Spirit carried me over to them, the husband saw me coming as he whis- pered to his wife, "Here he comes." As I approached, I reached out my hand to shake his, and as we shook hands, I said, "I need to ask for your forgive- ness?" The wife promptly recounted the incident. "I agree with everything you just said—I was being selfi sh and rude. Will you forgive me?" And with that there was relief. "YES, we forgive you, thank you." "No, thank YOU." I hadn't given much thought to the above scenario in quite some time. It wasn't until I recently read Pope Fran- cis' new Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia—The Joy of Love—that stirred this painful, yet redemptive memory. Sadly, some real nuggets from this post- synod document have been overshad- owed by some confusion, complaining and controversy. We can easily miss what the Holy Father calls "the heart" of his new document where he takes us through an in-depth look at ourselves through the lens of St. Paul's alluring formula for love in 1 Corinthians 13. Reading and praying over Chapter 4 is an amazing examination, as well as a glorious explanation of what each of us can bring to those close and around us in a world that is so desper- ately thirsting for love. In Paragraph 99, "Love is not rude," Pope Francis quotes St. Thomas Aquinas, saying, "As an essential requirement of love, every human being is bound to live agreeably with those around him." Our Holy Father reminds us, "Love is not rude or impolite; it is not harsh. Its actions, words and gestures are pleasing and not abrasive or rigid. Love abhors making others su© er." The Holy Spirit gives us what we need when we need it. I am coming to understand that at "the heart" of Pope Francis' pontifi cate is "The Joy of LOVE." Marriage Missionaries Matt and Mindy Dalton can be reached at matt@marriagemissionaries.org, 303-578- 8287 or at www.marriagemissionaries.org. MATT & MINDY DALTON and ignominy – uncertainty – and all because Jesus wants it . . . These thoughts were a cause of much su© ering." Later, in prayer, she wrote "I am so afraid Jesus – I am so terribly afraid – let me not be deceived – I am so terri- bly afraid. This fear shows how much I love myself. I am afraid of the su© er- ing that will come through leading the Indian life – clothing like them, eating like them, sleeping like them – living like them and never having anything my own way. How much comfort has taken possession of my heart." And again "All these years of my religious life, I have been quite happy as a member of the Institute of the Blessed Virgin Mary and the thought of leaving it breaks my heart. Why Almighty God calls me now to this new life I do not know, but I want to do only His Holy Will without any reserve, whatever the cost be." And she did — with no idea that her little idea would become a world- wide movement. For all she knew, the Missionaries of Charity would never be more than herself and a few other women, reaching out to the poor in her own back yard in Calcutta. And yet she said "yes" and gave everything to God. Sometimes I've been known to fl at- ter myself into believing that I'm rel- atively holy, or that I'm open to God's will in my life. But not after learning about the life of St. Teresa. I am weak, weak, weak. Sure I want to do God's will. But once it becomes inconve- nient, I lose enthusiasm. What will he take from me? What will he ask me to give up? Would he make me leave my home? My loved ones? What about all of my cool furniture? It's no wonder people don't cry when they look at me. St. Teresa's life became "something beautiful for God" for one simple reason: she trusted him, even when it was very di£ cult. He can do the same in your life and in mine, if would just let him. And who knows? Maybe someday people will cry when they look at us, too. Mother Teresa was canonized a saint on Sept. 4. FILE PHOTO BY JAMES BACA

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