Issue link: https://read.uberflip.com/i/1147396
You are not helping your kid. Did you ever think of that? Did any of your advice, ever, help anyone on the ice? Did your kid skate better, make the shot, score the goal, or improve in any way because you yelled? Did a referee ever change his call? Did it have any positive effect on the game whatsoever? You are embarrassing your kid. Your kid knows he missed the shot. Do you have to criticize him publicly for it? Now she is focused on your voice and the coach's voice and her inner voice and it's taking away the ability to think and make decisions and play. No kid likes to be yelled at publicly, in front of his friends. Do you? When was the last time you were yelled at or shamed by your boss in front of the whole company? You know what kids want parents to say on the sidelines? Nothing. No coaching. At most, general cheering. Don't yell at my kid. EVER. What makes you think that this is even OK? If you want to screw up your own kid's journey, that is sad, but it's your kid. As for the rest of them, zip it. No one on the sidelines thinks you are a good parent for yelling like this. Not even your friends. We are all kind of embar- rassed for you, and your child. We are just afraid to say it because your kid is pretty good, and we are not sure if the club will support us in telling you to be quiet. You had your turn to play when you were young. Let it go. This will all be over soon, you won't have anyone to drive to practice anymore, and you will have to ask yourself "what was this all for?" You have it all wrong. We don't need MORE games. We need more practice. Why so many games anyway? The number of games rivals professional sports. Kids play almost as many games as they do in the NHL and pro athletes don't even go to elementary school. You see, in practice, kids take risks, try new things, learn and develop. They need to think and make decisions and they can't do that if you are yelling at them the whole time because you are focused on the scoreboard. I don't want to get in my car again next weekend and drive to another tournament. How about we stay home and just get better, or even play some pickup games? Before you think I'm going to say the score doesn't matter, I'm not. The score m a tt e r s… . t o o u r k i d s, b u t n ot a s m u c h a s i t matters to you. In fact, they will be over it by the time they take off their skates and ask "what's for lunch?" Kids are not stupid. They also know the team with the taller, faster, and older kids have a better chance. But you are focusing only on the score, and your kid is learning that mis- takes are not OK. That perfection is required. That your love is conditional on winning. Don't turn your kid into an anxious hot mess with stomach pains. Look at the rates of anxiety and depression among kids in high school and college. What is your endgame? We all screw up, but it's never too late to change. Last week, I got caught up in it too. In fact, I wanted my kid's team to beat your kid's team so I could shove it in your face. Then I remembered your kid is a kid. And it didn't feel very good to feel good about your 11-year- old feeling lousy. That didn't seem like an adult thing to do. 24 // AUGUST 2019 USAHOCKEYMAGAZINE.COM Have you ever stopped to consider any of the following things: Out of Control Sports Parents Reduced problem solving skills Less enjoyment playing hockey Increased anxiety Decreased autonomy and creativity CONSTANT PARENT INSTRUCTION LEADS TO... - - - + Please let kids be kids. Please let them play. And please, just let me watch the game in peace.