Denver Catholic

33 DENVER CATHOLIC | JULY 2022 a way to fight against their shame. It's a defensive response out of denial until they enter into the trauma. Whereas somebody who's had an abortion and is very pro-life, there has been a certain awareness and a repentance at a level, but sometimes they can become just as aggressive in the stance of pro-life as a buffer against their own shame and pain. What have you observed in the overall behavior and demeanor of someone who has dealt with the trauma of their abortion? You can tell the difference bet ween somebody who's received healing from their abortion wounds from somebody who hasn't. Somebody who's healed from it approaches men and women on every side of the political debate with a lot of compassion. In those who haven't received healing, there tends to be this militancy with accu- satory anger and judgment. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, they start blaming each other. But under- neath their blame and condemna- tion of others is a projection of their own shame and self-condemnation. Whereas when somebody is being healed — let's just take a woman who's more pro-choice — a woman who is healing suddenly begins to recognize the falseness of their posi- tion. They realize this is a human life. This is a baby that I killed. That realization for a woman who's been defending herself via a pro-choice argument is extremely painful and horrif ying. It really takes a lot longer for a woman who has been in denial to come to that awareness because of all the defenses that are built around it. But I've seen several of those women come to know Jesus as they go through this process of healing. They come to recognize they need a Savior; they need his merciful love. As that recognition happens, some of their self-reliance, that really strong sense of self-reliance that we all use to protect ourselves, starts to dissolve, and you begin to see a very vulnerable person who's reliving the trauma around getting pregnant, first of all, and then the trauma associated with the lack of support and lack of affirmation for their preg- nancy by the people around them. In your experience, for the women who f ind peace and healing after an abortion, what is at the root of that? Let me say what's at the root of the trauma first before I address the root of the healing. At the root of the trauma is ungrieved loss, ferocious self-hatred, shame and guilt. My experience has been that self-hatred matches the level of trauma. When there's that level of trauma, the level of self-hatred and the inabilit y to forgive oneself or forgive the other people who are part of the abortion can be severe. So, part of healing pro- cess involves grieving, facing realit y and repenting, but part of healing also involves forgiving oneself and being forgiven by God. There are a lot of women and men that I know who have gone to confession but can't really forgive themselves. They know formally that they've confessed this sin, but they haven't really faced the depths of their pain and shame, and that's usually a longer part of the process. The only way shame can be healed is through love, and the only way guilt can be healed is through forgiveness. We can't ratio- nalize guilt and shame away. That never works. Healing requires an encounter with God. I've experienced beautiful encounters where we're inviting Jesus to meet these women in that moment of their abortion, that moment for which they've been silently hating themselves, to expe- rience Jesus or the Blessed Mother or the Holy Spirit speak to their hearts with such tenderness, such love and such compassion is truly amazing. This encounter with love and truth pierces and penetrates the shame. Anyone who has an encounter like this knows the truth and knows they are deeply loved. It's one thing to rationalize why you had the abor- tion, but it's another thing to expe- rience God's heart for you in that moment of your greatest shame and trauma. When I see a woman get to that place of accepting God's love and mercy and forgiving herself, that is when I see them experience true freedom. Then we can move to the next part, which is to grieve the loss of her baby. What are the ways that Jesus wants to come in and heal the wound of abortion that many women live with? Every mother (and father) needs God's grace to receive this level of healing. It's not something they're going to be able to manufacture on their own. They are going to need a deeper level of trust and securit y to enter into the process. They can't go to those places of the heart by themself. It's really a mystery how that encounter happens. It's difficult to put an experience like this into words; in the prayer experience, some people see Jesus in their imagination, others see Mary in their imagination. Some just have a sense of awareness of his presence. They may feel the Holy Spirit, or they may hear a Scrip- ture passage that really penetrates to the depths of their heart for the first time. God's healing is uniquely designed for each person, but when it happens, we all know that it's real. They know it's not something they've talked themselves into or that they've made up or they've imagined; they know it's real because of the power of the transformation that takes place. It penetrates to the depths of their body and soul. It's so beautiful to witness. You see the person in front of you go from anguish to joy, from self-hatred to peace, from guilt to freedom, from deep loss to fulfillment. R E A D M O R E Visit denvercatholic.org for a longer version of this conversation with Dr. Schuchts

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