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A s I approach the altar, I feel it in my stomach. This feeling is always the same; the priest sits, and the altar servers approach and we get the table of sac- rifice ready. Once again, the bread and wine will be offered, and they will join in the same sacrifice of the Upper Room. I set the missal, then receive the veiled chalice from the little hands of an altar server. I unfold the corporal, the white cloth that is set upon the altar to hold the sacred vessels; I contemplate the miracle that will happen on this white cloth. Jesus him- self will be present here soon. I wonder as I set the rest of the altar if this is how it felt on that night? The night Our Lord gave us the priest- hood and made the Eucharistic sacrifice present for the first time…what was it like for that ser- vant to lay out that first cloth, that first chalice, to hold the first plate from which the most ven- erable hands of Jesus would lift the bread and tell his apostles to "take and eat"? We're in that same room now. I pour the sweet wine into the chal- ice where countless times Jesus has been made present. Taking the cruet of water, I am careful to pour a tiny drop of water as I pray, "by the mystery of this water and wine, may we come to share in the divinity of Christ, who humbled himself to share in our humanity." As the drop of water hits the wine you can see waves where the water and the wine coalesce. I meditate and pray that our frail and broken humanity would be joined to the divin- ity of Jesus and that it would disappear into it and be made new as the drop of water disap- pears into the sacred chalice. The altar is ready. I bow to the priest, and he comes to begin the sacrifice that has joined humanity to the Upper Room for over 2,000 years. This sacrifice is ever ancient and yet ever new in the love that God has for us in allowing us to re-present it. I pick up the paten with the host on it and I place it into the hands of the priest. I hear him whisper the prayer, "Blessed are you Lord God of all creation…" I place the holy chalice into his hands, hands that will soon be the hands of Jesus himself, as he once again repeats the prayer but now for the wine. I then hear the priest whisper, "Wash me, O Lord from my iniquity, cleanse me from my sin," and the water is poured over his fingers as he prays that he is made worthy to offer Jesus in sacrifice. ⊲ BY DEACON DERRICK JOHNSON Permanent Deacon at Assumption Parish in Welby VO ICE S An unworthy servant in the Upper Room A deacon's reflection on serving the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass 29 DENVER CATHOLIC | AUGUST 2023