Denver Catholic

28 FEB-MAR 2024 | DENVER CATHOLIC 28 B eyond that, the Sacrament of Matrimony presents the ordi- nary path of sanctification for most Catholics. Young people, Catho- lics included, simply are not marrying. Although the U.S. Catholic popula- tion has increased significantly in the last few decades, the number of Cath- olic marriages has plummeted. The New York Times has even wondered about the broader trend, pointing to the dating habits of men as a major problem in a recent arti- cle. According to the opinion piece entitled "Why Aren't More People Marrying? Ask Women What Dating Is Like," many women cannot find a suitable partner "who meets their expectations" of commitment, stabil- ity in life and "emotional sensitivity." Many cultural forces have turned men away from marriage: the distracting and isolating tendencies of tech- nology, the addiction that follows from it, delaying the responsibilities of adulthood, economic pressures and hookup culture. The decline of marriage self-perpetuates, as it is no longer expected for young men to step up quickly, make a choice, settle down and begin to provide. From a Catholic point of view, we could ask how men can prepare to enter fruitfully into marriage. First of all, like any vocation, it requires proper discernment. Sometimes people assume that they certainly will marry without thinking much about it, or, on the other extreme, simply rule it out. For vocational discern- ment, the question should be what God wants. In a culture obsessed with personal freedom and fulfillment, it's important to be open to God's call even to the unexpected. Growing up with divorced parents, I never thought much about marriage and was convinced for years I had a call to the priesthood. Simply taking a step back and being open to what seemed unlikely led me clearly in another direction. Marriage shouldn't be taken for granted or ruled out completely without proper discernment. To prepare for anything important, we need models and mentorship. A young man discerning marriage should find faithful married men to provide guidance. Marriage isn't easy but has many rewards. It'd be helpful for a young man to understand the demands of supporting a family and how to integrate the demands of family, work and prayer. For me, it was my college professors who invited me and my future wife into their homes for meals and conversation. For a man to become marriage material, it's important to form good habits, with daily prayer at the top of the list. Rooted in daily communion with God, our work and sacrifices become fruitful through his grace. It's impossible to become a holy hus- band without regular prayer. Many marriages continue to break up, even among Catholics. As Ven. Patrick Peyton said, "The family that prays together stays together." My wife and I began making a holy hour together each day in college. Now, we're the first ones up in our home to begin the day with prayer, assisted by coffee. Later, we pray morning prayer as a family and the rosary after dinner. The vocation of men entails pro- viding, protecting and leading. To do this effectively for a family, men need to learn discipline and sacrifice. In fact, these disciplines are needed for proper discernment by establishing a good daily routine and rooting out For a man to become marriage material, it's important to form good habits, with daily prayer at the top of the list. Rooted in daily communion with God, our work and sacrifices become fruitful through his grace." FEB-MAR 2024 | DENVER CATHOLIC I N O U R VO C ATI O N S CR I S I S , W E M O S T LY FO CU S O N T H E P R I E S T H O O D A N D R E L I G I O U S L I FE , B U T A N E W D I M E N S I O N O F T H I S CR I S I S FA L L S FA S T U P O N U S . W IT H O U T S T R O N G C AT H O L I C M A R R I AG E S , T H E P R I M A RY S O U R CE O F R E L I G I O U S VO C ATI O N S WO U L D D I S A P P E A R .

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