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29 DENVER CATHOLIC | FEB-MAR 2024 distractions. What woman would be attracted to a man addicted to video games or who wastes time and money on frivolous things? To be a man for others requires putting off attach- ments to comfort and pleasure. This is why I began working for Exodus, known for its 90 days of prayer, ascet- icism and fraternity that help men strengthen their faith through greater sacrifice: abstaining from social media, unnecessary technology use, video games and TV, while embracing fasting, cold showers, a daily holy hour and regular exercise. Men are made to respond to challenges but often do not find a path for growth within the Church, and it's time to change that. Challenges to purity certainly present one of the greatest obstacles in preparing for marriage. Pornogra- phy undermines love, turning sexual- ity from a treasured gift to a pursuit of domination and self-gratification. When we look for the overarching cause of marriage's decline, certainly the divorce between sex and pro- creation looms large. Marriage has become a means of personal satisfac- tion and fulfillment rather than the embracement of a mission. The very origin of the sacrament comes from God's command to be fruitful and multiply. The sexual complementarity of man and woman finds its fulfill- ment in the chaste gift of marital love. I married at the age of 21, and, as a young father staying up late to bounce babies and change diapers, I learned the real nature of love as a self-sacrificial gift. The sacrament has slowly transformed me, showing me the nature of divine love through the embodied reality of the family with its many needs and joys. Finally, a young man must be able to provide and be present as a father. This requires maturity in commit- ting to regular work and becoming emotionally present to others. Dis- cipline and sacrifice are needed here, too, in refraining from unnecessary spending, saving money, and estab- lishing a career. More than making money, following the model of St. Joseph, work should be seen as a way of serving and providing, building up the common good, and honoring God. As a father of six, I have always had to roll up my sleeves to pick up extra work, while keeping the household running as smoothly as possible. I became a Benedictine oblate to guide my own integration of prayer and work within the domestic church of the family. With all the sacrifice involved, many men understandably hold back. No one is happy, however, without committing to something greater than oneself. Marriage offers a real path to happiness and holiness as a joyful sac- rifice in imitation of Jesus's own gift of himself for his bride, the Church. DENVER CATHOLIC | FEB-MAR 2024 29