Denver Catholic

Marriage prep typically takes 8 to twelve months here in the Archdio- cese of Denver. There are three types or stages of marriage prep: remote, proximate and immediate. Proxi- mate and immediate preparation are the ones that are more traditionally associated with marriage prep, while remote preparation begins long before a couple is even considering marriage. "The idea of remote prepara- tion entails what can be covered in the proximate and immediate but involves some basic moral teachings of how to live as a human person, as a man and as a woman, and seeing the beauty and dignity of all of that," Deacon Coleman explained. This is learned from a young age by learning the unique vocations of man and woman and by witnessing the beauty of marriage in various social environments: within the family, within a parish community, at school, in family relationships with friends and others. It is in these settings that we learn what love is; that is, willing the good of the other. The proximate prepa- ration happens when an engaged couple approaches the Church with the intent of entering into marriage. "This is where the main interaction happens with couples, especially in my office and the leaders that I work with," Deacon Coleman said. "They're typically engaged, they have a date in mind 99% of the time, and they want to get prepared for that. This is where the Church in her wisdom says, 'how can we do that?' We need to prepare you for the sacrament, so there is a certain theology behind it. We start introducing the theology of marriage, the beauty of what marriage is with the teachings of the Church. The theology of the body, presented to us with John Paul II, is part also of that." As the wedding day nears, the immediate preparation begins, which entails the liturgical elements of the wedding, such as Mass readings and song choices, choosing the cantors and lectors, and ensuring that the couple connects with the priest who will be marrying them before the wedding — that is, if they're not the one lead- ing the couple through marriage prep. N AT U R A L FA M I LY P L A N N I N G: FR E E , TOTA L , FA IT H FU L , FR U IT FU L Throughout the marriage prep pro- cess, the goal is to welcome couples into the beauty of the Church's teach- ings and help the couple to understand what love really is, especially as it per- tains to the marital context. The four pillars of love as free, total, fruitful and faithful are central to this process. "We're telling you that what the Church is offering you is really beauti- ful because she's been in the business for 2,000 years, and the person that founded our Church also made the wedding of Cana super important," Deacon Coleman said. "The idea of talking about the value of what the Church has to say is also to prepare them for Natural Family Planning." The Church teaches Natural Family Planning (NFP) to couples to impart the wisdom of her rich teach- ing on human sexuality in a way that espouses growth in virtue. Those four pillars of love are made most mani- fest in marriage through an openness to the gift of children by the nuptial embrace. "The idea of fertility and who we are as human persons has been stripped of all its inherent beauty today," Deacon Coleman said. "It's giving them the opportunity over these months to hopefully be pre- pared for Natural Family Planning so that they can welcome that." Practically, NFP tracks a wom- an's fertility using natural bio- logical markers inherent to the Living out of the sacrament of marriage is until death. I like to use the term 'old and wrinkly.' We're preparing you for that." 36 FEB-MAR 2024 | DENVER CATHOLIC

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