Denver Catholic

16 FEB-MAR 2024 | DENVER CATHOLIC WO R TH TH E WAIT BY MATT AND MINDY DALTON Founders of Marriage Missionaries marriagemissionaries.org 16 cohabitation Worth the wait: How to talk about W e have all been to weddings and experience that anticipated moment when the bride walks down the aisle. We stand, turn towards the back of the church in unison, and we wait. I, however, like to focus on the groom and see how his nerves manifest themselves. Is he sweating? What is his body saying? As he waits to see his bride, his eyes lock with hers and his smile cracks as his chin quivers to fight back the joyous tears; he takes in a huge breath to regroup and wipes his tears as her dad reaches to shake his hand. All of this reveals that this woman is worth the wait! St. Irenaeus said, "The glory of God is Man fully alive." Soaking in this wisdom is inspiring. God receives glory when humans are alive in his fullness, which includes life, love and God's gifts. As God thirsts for us to be fully alive, we, too, thirst for our children and grandchildren to be "fully alive" — in him. How can parents and grandparents impart this goodness to children and grandchildren, especially in these times where it is tempt- ing to be skeptical or even lose hope in our culture? In the U.S., we are experiencing 61% fewer marriages today than in 1971. In recent years, the divorce rate in America has dropped largely due to the widely accepted cohabitation experiment. Saying nothing on the topic of cohabitation and sexuality has been the default option for far too long. Most of us feel unequipped to talk about these sensitive issues. However, remain- ing silent and uninformed makes us blind, "And if a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit" (Mt 15:14). People are prolonging or even opting out of marriage to put their relationships on a "trial run." Cohabitation is living together in a sexual relationship before marriage. Many people look around at our world attacked by miserable mar- riages and constant divorces, and ask, "Is this kind of love, married love, even possible?" St. Thomas More, who was martyred for defending marriage, said, "Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal." Pope St. John Paul II, in his hope to restore purity to humanity, often emphasized that "The sexual drive is a gift from God." However, he maintained that sexual desire must never be sep- arated from love — the will to do what is best for the other. Cohabitation or sex outside of marriage may be one of our desires; however, these behaviors are poor ways to execute our desires because they lack commitment and love. When we separate our desires from love, we use another as though they were some "thing" rather than "someone." ⊲ FEB-MAR 2024 | DENVER CATHOLIC God receives glory when humans are alive in his fullness, which includes life, love and God 's gifts. As God thirsts for us to be fully alive, we, too, thirst for our children and grandchildren to be ' fully alive' — in him."

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