Denver Catholic

DECEMBER 2024-JANUARY 2025 | DENVER CATHOLIC BEAR ANY INSULTS PATIENTLY AND WITH GR ACE. Catholicism is increasingly strange to our culture as we move deeper into this apostolic age. Your family members, like mine, might think you're a looney for what you believe and do. They'll likely throw a few jabs with their words or ask a few pointed questions. You can stand apart by how you handle those moments. Receive their blows with gentleness. Answer their ques- tions with patience and confidence. Try your darndest to avoid any backlash. You have Truth on your side, so avoid falling into defense mode. No one wants to be preached to, but everyone wants to be conversed with. Take it from someone who has earned the nickname "Cardinal Tanner" with his family. There's a big difference there. If you can do this, I can guarantee the wheels will begin turning for them. Also, those family members whose questions come across as harsh or belittling are often just testing the waters. Deep down, a part of them is genuinely curious, but their interest can frequently come out through harsh skepticism. If you have an answer to one of their ques- tions, speak it calmly and confidently, then move on. If you don't have an answer, it's okay to say you don't know, but you'll find out. You're playing the long game, so trust you're planting seeds. I took the crystals from my wife and headed to my father-in-law's workstation in the garage. My wife's younger sister followed behind. She had recently expressed interest in Catholicism and was curious why my wife and I were acting so strange about something seemingly so small. I thought this could be a good evangelizing moment, so I pulled up the "Disposing of Cursed Objects Prayer" on my phone. As part of the prayer, I needed to break the object, so I grabbed a hammer, threw the crystals in a garbage bag, and smashed them. As the clink of the hammer smashed against the cement garage f loor, my sister-in-law watched, half-amused, half-shocked. "You're smashing ____'s gift?" "I know that looks bad…but yes, that's exactly what I'm doing." I continued smashing away. Clink. Clink. "That's so rude, guys. He gave all of us crys- tals, so are you saying I need to break mine too?" "I know that seems harsh…but yes, that's exactly what I'm saying." Clink. Clink. Clink. "Catholics are so weird. You guys need to chill out," my sister-in-law said, exasperated, before walking back inside. I turned to my wife, clutching my hammer. Her shoulders dropped, and she rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Tanner? There goes any shot we had with her." It felt like a lose-lose situation. I didn't want to be rude, but I knew we couldn't keep any- thing spiritually threatening in the house. I wanted to stand by the Truth, but I also knew that I might look like a nutcase for doing so. In talking to a spiritual father after the fact, my wife and I did do the right thing in dispos- ing of the gift, but we could have been more charitable toward our guests. It was also prob- ably not the most prudent thing in the world to throw my non-Catholic sister-in-law into the deep end of spiritual warfare. Christmas with the family always seems to have a special knack for putting me in complex situations that make me feel like I have nowhere to turn, and I know I'm not alone there. For those like me whose family members aren't Catholic (or are no longer practicing), you may find yourself in a sticky situation or two this holiday season. You also likely desire to evangelize those family members who hav- en't encountered the source of joy that they're celebrating. Here are just a few tips from a guy who has learned things the hard way: 36

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