Denver Catholic

15 DENVER CATHOLIC | JULY 25-AUGUST 7, 2015 D ear Future Son-in-Law, We have been praying for you for years; that God would put in our daughter's path a man of God. šOur prayers included that our own marriage would be a good witness of God's plan for life and love, so that one day our daughter would recognize authentic love when she met her future husband. God has answered our prayers. When our fi rst child, a baby girl, was born 22 years ago, we had no idea what the future would hold. šWe had no idea how to be parents, and "all" that being parents would entail. šShe was such a happy baby. šEveryone would comment on how well-behaved she was at Mass. šWell, that changed quickly as she turned 2. When she was 7 years old, she talked of becoming a nun one day. šWe always encouraged her to try to listen to what God wanted for her in life, to be open to whatever vocation he called her. We started to talk with her about the importance of her praying for her future spouse, whether that was to be a man or Jesus himself, if she chose the con- secrated life. šIf she were to be married, we prayed for a spouse that would be kind, loving, charitable, compassionate, giving, and most important, a spouse that would love Jesus Christ above any- body and anything. God the Father gave her an earthly father, with responsibility for molding and shaping her into the woman she has become today. šHer dad has been her protector for the past 22 years, the one to console her when she is hurt, the one to guide her in issues of morality, to be that shoulder to cry on, to be the spiri- tual leader in her life. Her father is blessed with the supreme gift that you are to her, know- ing that you, too, are a man after God's own heart, with confi dence that you will now take on the role of protector and helpmate; ultimately to help her get back to heaven. It will be an emotional day, the day her father walks her down the aisle to meet you, her husband; but what a joyous day, to watch you exchange your vows in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony. 1 Corinthians 13 is a popular Scrip- ture at many marriage ceremonies. šYou know the one, it starts, "Love is patient, love is kind. šIt is not jealous, love is not pompous." Our suggestion is that you take this Scripture to prayer, in the spirit of examining your own heart, for your bride-to-be, and alone with God. Something we have done utilizing this Scripture verse is to insert our spouse's name where the word "love" appears. This can be a wonderful fi lter, time and time again to check our- selves. šWhy? šBecause faith, hope and love remain and the greatest of these is love. šWith the help of God's grace, if we can grow in these virtues throughout married life, it will lead us, and all those we care for, and encounter, to Jesus, who isšlove itself! With all of our love and continued prayers, welcome to our family! -Your future father and mother-in-law Letter to our future son-in-law Matt and Mindy Dalton can be reached at matt@marriagemissionaries.org, 303-578-8287 or at www.marriagemissionaries.org. Marriage Missionaries MATT & MINDY DALTON Flannery Ameri- century. She powerful pretty. gro- revealed things. violence and "We su£ering when it Challenge"? watching? conviction. If would to be a kind of can to? If entertain- dignity," it? Seri- funny this is, it is watch it." entertain- remain, person it T he famous Olympian Bruce Jenner made headlines recently when he told ABC News, "For all intents and purposes, I'm a woman… That female side is part of me. That's who I am." He has been receiving hor- monal treatments to acquire feminine traits. His dramatic case raises import- ant ethical and medical concerns about properly understanding our identity and respecting the given order of our bodies. Suppose a man were to declare that his real identity, in his innermost self, was that of a pirate, and that he had always been aware of it from his earliest childhood. If he were to decide, in order to more fully conform to that inner identity, to have his hand surgically removed so that he could have a hook installed in its place, this would surely indicate a serious mental condition on his part, and counseling, along with other psychiatric interventions, would be appropriate, rather than encouraging medical mutilation. Or we might consider the strange case of Chloe-Jennings White, a 58 year old woman from Salt Lake City, Utah, who, although perfectly healthy, has a deep- seated desire to become paralyzed, even to the point of being willing to pay a surgeon to sever her spine to make her a paraplegic. As a young girl, whenever she saw somebody with leg braces, she asked why she couldn't have her own set. Ever since, she has dreamed of being paralyzed from the waist down and says that she sometimes goes skiing in the hopes that an accident will render her paraplegic: "I ski extremely fast, and aim for the most dangerous runs." She likewise fantasizes about having a car accident to make her paralyzed. In the meantime, she lives her life as if she were a paraplegic, putting braces around her legs, and riding around in a wheelchair. She su£ ers from what has been termed "Body Integrity Identity Disorder," or BIID, a rare disorder in which individuals lack a proper sense of bodily identity and reject their own limbs. Some experts believe it is caused by a neurological disorder in which the brain's mapping system fails to recog- nize particular parts of the body. If a surgeon were to sever her spine, even with her consent, broad condem- nation would quickly follow from inside and outside the medical profession, given that her limbs are healthy, and she is really battling a mental disorder. Various commentators have reacted strongly to her story, noting the irony of so many people who have become crip- pled due to tragic accidents and yearn for even the most basic forms of mobil- ity, even as White seeks to mutilate her body and do violence to her own func- tional integrity. It doesn't take much refl ection to appreciate how the powers of medicine are meant for healing our bodies, not for harming and maiming them. Yet this kind of clear thinking seems to get easily sidelined when people discuss medical interventions for indi- viduals who are convinced that they are actually members of the opposite sex. Paul McHugh, a doctor who served as psychiatrist-in-chief at the Johns Hopkins Hospital for more than two decades, was one of the fi rst to raise concerns about transgender approaches that rely on hormones and surgeries. He noted that even though follow-up studies of sex-change patients may have indicated satisfaction with the outcome on the part of the patients, the numerous psychological problems they experienced prior to their surgeries, problems with emotions, relation- ships, work and self-identity remained unchanged. McHugh concluded that "to provide a surgical alteration to the body of these unfortunate people was to collaborate with a mental disorder rather than to treat it." Indeed, although some people may clamor to have their spine severed, to have a healthy limb removed, or to have sex change opera- tions, the recognition of the seriousness of the underlying psychiatric issues should only strengthen our resolve to protect the human dignity and authen- tic personal identity of these patients by declining their requests for any form of medical mutilation. Nonetheless, misguided notions about personal identity continue to gain a foothold in our society. The opening line of the recent Supreme Court deci- sion legalizing gay "marriage," to cite but one example, declares that liberty means "specifi c rights that allow per- sons, within a lawful realm, to defi ne and express their identity." This kind of confused language about allow- ing people to "defi ne their identity" ignores the crucially important truth that numerous aspects of our identity, especially those related to our bodily and sexual identity, are pre-determined, objective goods that we are called to recognize and respect in the choices we make. Respecting objective goods stands at the heart of the project of moral reasoning. Whether considering the integrity of our arms and legs or the integrity of our sexual constitu- tion, proposals for chemical or surgical mutilation of these faculties will understandably raise concerns among reasonable and caring people. Changing my body to "match" my "identity"? Father Tadeusz Pacholczyk, Ph.D., serves as director of education at the National Catholic Bioethics Center in Philadelphia, www.ncbcenter.org. Making Sense of Bioethics FATHER TADEUSZ PACHOLCZYK, PH.D. Bruce Jenner at the London 2012 Olympics. PHOTO BY DUNCAN RAWLINSON

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