Denver Catholic

9 DENVER CATHOLIC | FEBRUARY 11-24, 2017 New Name. Same Great Service. Same Catholic Values. will become March 1, 2017 See www.nufcu.com for more information. vocation — so what's the holdup? "The big opposition with dating is that guys don't ask anyone out, or a guy asks someone out and everyone thinks he's weird," Annie said. "We're afraid of coming o• too strong…we're embarrassed to admit that we want marriage and children. That adds a lot of pressure." Still, despite a seeming lack of Cath- olic singles with a courageous dating mindset, good marriages are still being made. JUST ASK THE GIRL Newlyweds Mark and Brianne West- ho• , who met in college but didn't start dating until several years after, strug- gled with dating paralysis before recon- necting with each other. "This was something I experi- enced…I don't know what else to call it beyond over-discernment…because [the vocation] is so important, people can become paralyzed," Mark said. "At least for guys, they'd say, 'Should I ask her out?' and then wait six weeks and pray novenas. They ask God before even asking her. The order should be, trust God's movement, then I'll respond, see what I learn and see what changes." Brianne, like many other Catholic single women, was hardly asked out before Mark. The paralysis, they both agreed, stems from Catholic millenni- als not working with what God puts in front of them. "[A big challenge for millennials] is not being in touch with reality. There's a lack of trust that what is happening is reality," Brianne said. "We don't see reality as an actual, concrete thing that is good for me." The answer to this inactivity? Two parts, acting and trusting. Relation- ships can't be forced, but singles also shouldn't wait around passively, either. "Ask her out on a real date," Mark said. "If it's not good, then that's fi ne. You're not asking her to marry you by asking her out." "Be hopeful and understand that God acts and that we can't force it," Mark continued. "But don't be para- lyzed by that…we have to act ourselves as well. And trust. Trust whatever is happening in reality and act on what is in front of you." PHOTO: ADOBE STOCK There are two types of people at young adult Catholic events: people who are looking for their spouse, and people who aren't honest enough to admit that they're looking for their spouse" JACOB MACHADO "

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