Denver Catholic

16 APRIL 8-21, 2017 | DENVER CATHOLIC Around the Archdiocese Disclosure *APR (Annual Percentage Rate). The loan interest rate provided above is for well-qualied borrowers(s). All loans are subject to approval, and the nal rate may vary based on several factors, including personal credit history, the term of the loan and the value of the collateral. Rates are subject to change without notice. Membership at Fidelis is required. Your savings federally insured to at least $250,000 and backed by the full faith and credit of the United States Government National Credit Union Administration, a U.S. Government Agency NCUA Rates as low as RV LOANS 4.50 % up to 120 Months NEW | USED | REFINANCED APR * Call: 303.424.5037 Click: Fideliscu.org or Come by today Uniting Your Faith and Finances BY THERESE AAKER T he statistics today are overwhelming. Fight the New Drug (FTND), a non-religious and non-political orga- nization whose aim is to change cultural perception on pornography through the simple facts of its harm, recently released stats that reveal just how much porn people watch. In 2016 alone, Porn- hub got 23 billion visits — 64 million a day. Just looking at the numbers, it's no secret that someone you know probably is or was addicted to pornography. So, at some point, a conversation will be had. And it's important to be had. You may be the only person in your loved one's life who may do so. So, how do you approach the topic? And what happens after? WITH YOUR FRIEND FTND has several blog posts on the topic of starting the conversation. One suggests saying something calmly, such as, "I saw this and was wondering if this has been a long-time struggle and if it's something that you are fi ghting to be free of." "In approaching this topic at all, whether it's you struggling with por- nography, your friend, a family member, your partner, the most important thing is to remove shame from the conversa- tion. It's important to understand that coming forward and asking for help is a huge thing," said Natale McAneney, chief operating o® cer of FTND. The most important thing after removing shame is being as open, honest and loving as possible. "Let them know they're not alone, and that there's lots of hope," McAne- ney added. WITH YOUR PARTNER Having a conversation with your sig- nifi cant other can be di® cult, but it can be very healing, and could potentially help the person addicted overcome their struggle, having the right support. Again, McAneney stressed removing shame from the conversation, and being educated on the e• ects of porn as much as possible. She also noted that it's important to recognize the di® culty the non-ad- dicted partner experiences as a result of their loved one's addiction. "When it's your own relationship, you likely have your own feelings attached, to this struggle of, 'I'm not attractive enough,' [etc.]. It puts you in a place where you feel you're at fault, and you feel massive amounts of betrayal," McAneney said. "Having this conversation, there's a lot of emotions attached, but it's important to be open and honest with your own feelings, and be as open as possible with their struggle, and let them know that you're there to support them, if you feel that you're in a position to do so," McAneney added. There are resources for both partners — in overcoming porn addiction, as well as recovering from betrayal trauma. "It's important to look at the options and fi nd something that works for you. There are lots online, there are lots in person, therapy is good for both part- ners," McAneney said. She stressed that, while recovery for either person has its own set of chal- lenges, it can and has been overcome by many people. "The key thing is the person strug- gling has to have a desire to stop. That's a huge part of the equation. And the part- ner has to be as supportive as possible," McAneney said. "Communication during recovery is important, and making sure expectations are clearly set." What you need to know before you talk to your loved one about porn It can and has been overcome — and you can be a crucial support 303.743.8804 HoranCares.com Helping You Honor Life

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