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18 JUNE 10-23, 2017 | DENVER CATHOLIC Voices For as little as $60 reach over 200,000 READERS 2016 ANNUAL BUSINESS DIRECTORY THINK ALL SENIOR LIVING IS THE SAME? RETIREMENT COMMUNITY CALL TODAY FOR YOUR PERSONAL TOUR 6550 Yank Way, Arvada CO. 80004 www.springwoodretirement.com (303) 424-6550 (303) 424-6550 Think again. Springwood's locally and privately owned campus will change the way you think about retirement living. No matter what your needs are Springwood offers Independent Living, Assisted Living and Memory Care. • Residential • Commercial • Industrial • Lighting Design • Building and Parking Lot Maintenance 303-455-5160 Good Electric Service Co., Inc. 5401 W. 48th Ave., Denver, CO 80212 $30 off with ad Uniting Your Faith and Finances Call: 303.424.5037 Click: www.nufcu.com or Come by one of our convenient oces! ARVADA • NORTHGLENN 70 Years • Family Owned 2155 S. 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FREE ESTIMATES • INSURANCE CLAIMS • EXPERT REPAIR WORK • SEAMLESS ALUMINUM GUTTERS • LICENSED AND INSURED • SPECIAL SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNTS A Name You Can Trust & Afford For Over 35 Years 2221 Gray Street Edgewater, CO 80214 www.millsroofingcompany.com 303-232-0324 FREE ESTIMATES • INSURANCE CLAIMS • EXPERT REPAIR WORK • SEAMLESS ALUMINUM GUTTERS • LICENSED AND INSURED • SPECIAL SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNTS A Name You Can Trust & Afford For Over 35 Years 2221 Gray Street Edgewater, CO 80214 www.millsroofingcompany.com 303-232-0324 FREE ESTIMATES • INSURANCE CLAIMS • EXPERT REPAIR WORK • SEAMLESS ALUMINUM GUTTERS • LICENSED AND INSURED • SPECIAL SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNTS A Name You Can Trust & Afford For Over 35 Years 2221 Gray Street Edgewater, CO 80214 www.millsroofingcompany.com 303-232-0324 • INSURANCE CLAIMS • EXPERT REPAIR WORK • LICENSED AND INSURED FREE ESTIMATES 303-232-0324 2221 Gray Street Edgewater, CO 80214 www.millsroongcompany.com • SEAMLESS ALUMINUM GUTTERS • SPECIAL SENIOR CITIZEN DISCOUNTS A NAME YOU CAN TRUST & AFFORD FOR OVER 35 YEARS PLEASE SUPPORT OUR ADVERTISERS by listing your business in the 2017 Denver Catholic Annual Business Directory Issue date: June 24 / Deadline: June 13 FOR MORE INFO CALL TODAY! Mike O'Neill 303.715.3253 Kim Grace 303.715.3217 Clemente Carballo 303.715.3265 Find & Like Us on Facebook 4801 North Highway 67, P.O. Box 185, Sedalia, CO 80135 Phone 303-688-4198 ext. 122 (information/reservations) Website: www.sacredheartretreat.org Individually directed retreats available throughout the year. If you are new to Colorado: Sacred Heart Jesuit Retreat House is an oasis of peace and beauty, dedicated to retreats and spiritual direction in the tradition of St. Ignatius Loyola, welcoming those who seek to deepen their relationship with God. We are located on 280 acres in the colorful foothills of the Rocky Mountains and surrounded by spectacular natural beauty, the Retreat House offers the perfect se ing for solitude, reflection and prayer. Summer Program of Individually Directed Retreats June 12 – 21 July 23 – July 2 July 4 – 13 August 14 – 23 June 12 – July 13 (30-day Spiritual Exercises) Sacred Heart Jesuit Retreat House Miscarriage: The secret that shouldn't be kept W e buried our child yester- day. A child I got to know only though the sound of a heartbeat in a doctor's o ce. We lis- tened to that heart- beat every week for a month while mea- surements were taken. Every week our baby didn't seem to grow. My wife kept saying that she knew something was wrong, but I kept faith in that heartbeat. It never seems like it's too early to start asking yourself questions about your baby's life. Is it a boy or a girl? Will they look more like their Mama or their Papa? How will our new baby interact with our daughter? Will our daughter be a good older sister? I thought it was a boy, but that's probably because we already have a little girl. My wife wanted a boy, although she said at times that she thought it was a girl. I liked the idea of the pitter patter of sister's feet running all over the house. We will never know the answer to most, and possibly all, of those questions. At the start of the fourth ultra- sound, the fi rst thing the nurse said was, "I can't fi nd a heartbeat." "I'll go get the doctor." When the nurse walked out of the room my wife burst into tears and I think I have been somewhat numb ever since. In a wonderful act of kind- ness, before we left the o ce, the nurse revealed to us that she too had su€ ered a miscarriage and let us know that we were not isolated in our grief. When we went to see our general practitioner, he shared that he lost a baby in the ninth month. One of the nurses told us that she had had four miscarriages. Not only did she give us the comfort of knowing that we were not alone, she gave my wife her home phone number and an invitation to call her at any time if she needed to talk. It became apparent to us that so many people had gone through this pain, yet it was something that we had heard so little about. From a purely medical point of view, it was best that we found out about our child's death as early as possible, but the miracle of modern technology started us on a long and painful path. We had to wait a week to see if my wife's body would miscarry the baby naturally. It's heart wrenching to be waiting and hoping for your wife to miscarry your baby. Once that didn't happen, we induced it, and that was more painful than the waiting. Even then, it still wasn't over. There was still tissue remaining and they had to operate to remove it. Throughout this horrible process, the stories continued to pour in from friends that we had known for years; even my father told me that my great grandmother had two miscarriages before my grandmother was born. I am at a loss as to why this is such a secret. While I understand that these stories could cause women that are going through pregnancy unnecessary stress, the secrecy does leave couples like us potentially isolated trying to cope with pain and self-doubt. Without trying to discount any of the kind-hearted people that were so valuable to us, the most wonderful gift came to us from the Archdiocese of Denver. Our doctor told us that Mount Olivet holds a monthly service for mis- carried children. Laura and her sta€ at Mount Olivet handled everything with a deft, caring hand, even though getting the remains to them was di cult and confusing. At the service, a volunteer passed out fl owers and tissues. Another had made caskets and clothes for the babies to be buried in. The priest and the deacon were warm and compas- sionate. To congregate with other families going through what we were helped enormously. And they picked a beautiful spot for our child. There are two other people that were essential to getting us through this heartbreak. Our daughter was a constant light for us, especially her mother. For a time, she was the only thing that could put a smile on my wife's face and her hugs consoled her mother's tears. Caring for our little girl kept me focused on what I could con- trol (as much as you can control a one year old). The other was the child we lost, to whom we gave the name Cruz. Though the pain of our loss, Cruz taught us that we have so much to be thankful for. Cruz taught us that a healthy baby is truly a miracle by expe- riencing one of a million things that can go wrong during a pregnancy. Cruz taught us to cherish our daughter even more. Cruz taught me and my wife that we can rely on each other through dark days. That we can lean on each other for strength even if it's by falling toward one other. Thanks to Cruz we know that, not just trust in it. Cruz taught me how much I deeply and authentically love my wife. That's a heck of a lot of impact for such a short life. Freshman Catholic Daniel Barela is a husband, dad, native Coloradan and a newly minted Catholic. DANIEL BARELA i For more information on special ser- vices at Mount Olivet for children and babies, call (303) 425-9511

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