Denver Catholic

8 FEBRUARY 11-24, 2017 | DENVER CATHOLIC Cover Story 4801 North Highway 67, P.O. Box 185, Sedalia, CO 80135 Phone 303-688-4198 ext. 122 (information/reservations) Website: www.sacredheartretreat.org Sacred Heart Jesuit Retreat House February 24-26 ― Men & Women: Sr. Eileen Currie, M.S.C., Fr. Ed Kinerk, S.J. & Pat Wight Directed Prayer Weekend Retreatants meet individually with a director March 1 ― Day of Prayer: Fr. Ed Kinerk, S.J. Ash Wednesday March 3-5 ― Women: Fr. Paul Patin, S.J. Lenten Retreat: Preparing for Rebirth March 10-12 ― Nam và Nữ: Fr. Hanh D. Pham, S.J. Lỗi Lầm Nhưng Được Chúa Thương Yêu March 14 ― Day of Prayer: Fr. Hanh D. Pham, S.J. I Contemplate God As God Is Contemplating Me March 17-19 ― Women: Fr. Vince Hovley, S.J. Beauty, Friendship and Loss March 23 ― Day of Prayer: Fr. Paul Patin, S.J. Towards Renewing Our Baptismal Promises March 24-26 ― Men & Women: Fr. Hanh D. Pham, S.J. Untie Him and Let Him Go-John 11:44 Individually directed retreats available throughout the year. challenges are uniquely nuanced from previous generations. Where their parents or grandparents married at younger ages, this generation finds itself marrying much later, if at all. Generally, well-formed Catholic young adults try to avoid "hooking up" but find themselves unsure of what to do instead. So, often a dating paraly- sis sets in, where single men don't ask women out and both men and women passively wait for someone to magically fall from the sky. Finding a spouse has always been simple (not to be confused with easy) — and it may have been simpler in the past. But if young people are willing to overcome their dating challenges, good and holy marriages can and do happen. GOING ONLINE One problem this generation faces is meeting other like-minded people. While meetings still happen, balancing time between work and relationships plays a factor into the dating culture, and for some, the solution can be online dating. But this in of itself proves a challenge for Catholic millennials, too. There's still a nostalgia of having a romanti- cized story, and meeting someone online doesn't sound all that idealistic. Online dating also has a stigma: some perceive turning to the worldwide web in the search of someone to love as desperation. "It shouldn't have the stigma that it does. We do everything else online, and if you're not in college, you're not around like-minded people your age as much. Meeting people is hard, and meeting at a bar kind of falls in with the hookup culture," said Jacob Machado, who briefly used the online dating site, CatholicMatch. "If we've discerned our vocation and we're con- fident in it, we should be actively pur- suing it. But even knowing that, I still feel uncomfortable." JUST A TOOL Annie Crouch, who's used Catholic- Match, as well as other dating apps, thinks that it can be either a good tool or a frustration, depending on its use. "I think it's good. [But] it can be used poorly, it can encourage non-commit- ment, and you can start to see them as not a person…if we're not careful," Annie said. One of the cons, Annie said, is that it can become too easy to de-human- ize people online with the availability of so many options for matches. She admitted that it's become so easy to filter through matches without even reading their bios, "reducing people to their looks" — but being aware of that tendency helps counter it. Jacob also agreed that the percep- tion of too many options to choose from can paralyze people from committing to relationships. With so much at our fingertips, browsing for a date online can indeed become "dehumanizing." "It's not inherently bad, it's how you use it," Jacob said. MAKE THE LEAP Another challenge millennials face is making the jump from the digital sphere to human interaction. While it's really easy to strike up a conver- sation with someone online, and even feels less risky so that more people are comfortable doing it, "at some point, you have to be intentional and make a move," Jacob said. Annie agreed that media can only go so far to help relationships. "[I think it's important] to real- ize that it can only go so far, and not using it as a crutch…make sure you're not replacing [in-person interaction]. Follow through and go out with people, and put yourself out there," Annie said. EMBRACE YOUR DESIRE But even in-person interactions seem to su•er from a similar paraly- sis. Both Annie and Jacob recognized that many Catholic singles seem to be ashamed of or shy about their desire for marriage and a family, which stunts young people from asking each other out on dates. "There are two types of people at young adult Catholic events: people who are looking for their spouse, and people who aren't honest enough to admit that they're looking for their spouse," Jacob said. Many men and women desire their « 303.743.8804 HoranCares.com Helping You Honor Life PHOTO: ADOBE STOCK

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