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IllustrateD volume 24, issue 5 79 f Thornton and the rest of the Boilermakers tried to help as much as possible. She made tortilla soup, which Clemons found hard to re- sist. But more than that, teammates and coaches provided a shoulder to lean on, all crying together at times in Purdue's locker room. "My coaches, whatever I need- ed, they were there no matter what time it was," Clemons said. "They were just like, 'Whenever you need anything, I'm here.' They asked me every day, 'Are you OK? Do you need anything from me?' My teammates did whatever they could. They knew they couldn't say anything to me, there wasn't anything that anybody could say to make me feel better." By April, the weight had returned — and then some, Clemons joked — but the pain of that early October day still stings. Clemons and Upshaw had met at Elmhurst High School as freshmen, then after Elmhurst closed, they transferred together to Snider for their senior year. They went to prom together, did almost everything together in fact. Clemons says they shared their love of basketball — Jay was taller than her, an early attraction — and shopping. But most of all, they loved just goofing around, sharing each other's company. Thornton, too, was friends with the couple. "Playful, that's the one word to describe their rela- tionship," she said. "Those two together, it was always a fun time, always laughing always something. He, in general, was a funny person, so the two of them to- gether was just a perfect mix. It's kind of hard to think about … just 'cause." It was that kind of day on Oct. 4. Clemons was en- joying fall break at Purdue, spending time up in her hometown of Fort Wayne. She and Upshaw were plan- ning what she described as a lazy day, hanging out, eating (of course) and watching movies, and probably going to his younger brother's football game later that night. The weekend was to include a proposal, Clemons surmised, after Upshaw had told her earlier that he had a surprise planned. But soon after Clemons left the Baldwin Creek Apartments to pick up snacks, Upshaw was shot. De- tails of the incident are still murky even six months later, but according to a Fort Wayne Police Department release, officers arrived on the scene at 2:04 p.m. to find Upshaw lying near the sidewalk in front of the apartment complex, suffering from a gunshot wound. He was pronounced dead by a physician after being transported to a local hospital at about 2:44. The death, ruled a homicide by the Allen County Coroner, was the 34th in Fort Wayne in 2013 and is still under investigation, according to an FWPD officer in late April. When Thornton and a few of her teammates and coaches got to Fort Wayne later that evening, they found Clemons in shock. "There was no emotion," Thornton said. "She just wasn't herself. In a situation like that, it's almost like taking a part of her away. That was definitely hard to see her like that. But she's so much stronger because of it, and a lot of people wouldn't be able to do what she did." Basketball helped. Clemons had a full team of sup- porters, friends who she could lean on to help in cri- sis. And she kept playing, although there were times when she just didn't want to. "I feel like at first it was hard, because I couldn't concentrate," she said. "The last moments were on my mind. He was on my mind, so basketball definitely was not there. It was like something I didn't want to do. I didn't want to do anything, but at the same time I am glad I did come back. I feel like if I would have